Overloaded With Attributes Chapter 14

Interlude: The Case of Nakatsukasa Shouko, Part 1

My name is Nakatsukasa Shouko. I'm 26 years old. I'm in my fourth year as a Protection Officer with the National Male Gene Management Agency, Male Management and Protection Division—also known as the "Knights." ...Though, "fourth year" still counts as a rookie.

Whether it was good luck or bad, in just four years as an officer, I've had the misfortune... ahem, the opportunity... to be assigned to three different men. For most officers, once you get an assignment, you aren't rotated for at least ten years...

The first one I was assigned to... well, "assigned" is a strong word... was a 46-year-old man. He had lived with his mother his whole life, but she passed away from old age. I was dispatched to provide living assistance for his first time living alone.

There was an age gap, but... at the time, I was a pure, fresh-faced rookie, straight out of training. I was still in that phase where I had "dreams and hopes" about the male sex. My heart was pounding, and I was even having naive, flowery-brained thoughts like, "What if... this is a 'meet-cute' that blossoms into romance...?"

...Of course, that particular fantasy was shattered into a million pieces about ten seconds after meeting him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you! As of today, I'll be your handler, Yoshioka-sama—"

"I asked for a young one, didn't I?! So why'd they send an old hag like you?!"

...Excuse me? Um... I'm a rookie... fresh out of training. A brand-new Protection Officer. We don't have anyone younger than me in the entire department...

I was so stunned, I just stood there with my mouth hanging open.

"You're all just mocking me, aren't you! When I say 'young one,' I mean 'ten years old or younger!' That's the rule!"

...Ten? Ten years old? What is this man talking about? No, no, "ten years old"... that's an elementary schooler, at best. I wanted to ask him... why in the world would you think a child that age is employed? We were supposedly speaking the same language, but we weren't having a conversation.

My predecessor (who, apparently, had also only met him once before quitting) and I tried to calm him down, repeatedly explaining that we have no employees of that age... but he wouldn't understand. He finally devolved into screaming incomprehensible obscenities and started becoming violent, at which point he was committed on the grounds of "mental instability."

...What... was he?

So, for my very first case, I drew the shortest straw... a man with a... "unique" way of thinking. The next man I was assigned to was a 63-year-old, nicknamed "The Power-Harassment Complainer." Just reading his file, I could tell he was a "disaster case."

This was clearly a "veteran-only" assignment... but for me, who had been branded a "failure" on her first case, this was basically a punishment posting. And this man... how do I put it... He was like the burnt sludge you'd get if you boiled down every bad part of 'male-kind.'

He insulted me every time he saw my face. When we went outside, he insulted passersby. When I reprimanded him, he threw things. ...Is it possible a monkey has a higher IQ than him?

His tantrums got worse by the day. He'd spend all 24 hours—all his waking hours—screaming. He'd grab anything within reach and start smashing things. It all ended when he threw himself against a wall and then tried to sue me, claiming "This woman assaulted me!"

Looking back... I have no idea how I put up with him for six months. In the end, he, too, was committed on the grounds of "mental instability." The real mystery is why he was allowed to roam free for so long...

...For some reason, I spent the next year sorting documents in a warehouse. I mean, a job is a job. No complaints here.

My third assignment was a 27-year-old. A... perfectly "normal-seeming" man.

Twenty-seven. In terms of age, "prime marriage material." Apparently, there was a lot of backlash from my colleagues about me getting this assignment. The reason? Obviously, it was jealousy that I'd been assigned to a young man. ...Yes... It definitely wasn't because the last two men I was assigned to were both sent to a mental hospital.

So, I was put in charge of this "enviable" client. But by this point, I had already reached the zen-like conclusion that... ..."The 'ideal man' from novels, movies, games, and 'tomes of wisdom' simply does not exist." ...So I felt no joy, no gratitude whatsoever.

To his credit, he wasn't... unhinged... like the first two. He looked his age, average build. His way of speaking was... well, "that," as expected... but for a male, it was within the "acceptable" range.

I thought, "Maybe this one... I can handle without a problem." That thought lasted less than a week. I was dismissed.

The reason? I refused his demand to "shower him with expensive gifts." When I told my mother about it later, she said...

"Why couldn't you just do that one little thing for him?"

...as if I was the one being unreasonable.

It's true... if he had been my first assignment, I probably would have done it without a second thought. Even if I had to go into debt.

But... for a man? For them? Are they really... worth that?

At that point, I was... ..."Why am I doing this meaningless job?" ...I was one step away from a full-blown existential crisis.

So, naturally, my motivation was at zero. And it was back to the warehouse for me. Honestly, can't I just sort documents until I retire? I was praying for just that, when a fourth assignment request landed on my desk.

...Just leave me alone and stick a rookie on it, dammit!! I almost screamed it out loud... but a job is a job.

"Kashiwagi Yuugiri... 15 years old?! Why would a boy that young... Ah... I see... his entire family... in a traffic accident..."

He himself was in critical condition, unconscious. Ah, I get it. They have to assign someone... but if he dies... they don't want to traumatize a rookie. So, they gave him to me.

What do they think I have? Nerves of steel? ...Whatever. Fine.

So, this boy... he was in that bad of shape. But, thanks to the efforts of his doctor and a labyrinth-born potion they luckily had in stock... he apparently survived.

What's that? Reassign him? ...No. Of course I won't.

My past performance and evaluations? ...What about them?

And if I'm removed from this assignment? ...Then I'll slap my resignation on your desk with a pretty little bow on it!

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