Overloaded With Attributes Chapter 27

This is Total Chaos 

We were guided into a sprawling room that could only be called a "Suite Party Room." No, seriously, how many dozens of people is this room meant for? There's even a small stage in the center... Am I... am I going to have to go up there to sing?

We all sat down on the U-shaped sofas surrounding the stage... "No, wait, it's cramped. Can't you all... spread out a little? Why is everyone piled into the back of the 'U,' as far from the door as possible?"

"I must object to that opinion," Shizuka said.

"Yeah, I agree," Atena chimed in. "At the very least, that woman should be sitting much, much farther away. And Akashi-san. Yuu's right side—whether at school or off-campus—is my designated seat. The school decided it. So, move."

"No."

"(Uu... Tiara wants to sit next to Yuu-kun, too... So... can I sit on your lap?)"

You know... being fought over like this... does feel pretty good. It's just... the reasons for the fight are: "For Protection," "Out of Duty," "Some... Damp, Dark Emotion," and... "Am I her Dad?"... I'm... not entirely sure I should be happy about this.

"And... isn't this room a little... big... for just five of us?"

"Kashiwagi-sama, when a male uses a public facility, 'social distancing' is mandatory. If anything, this room is barely large enough. Please understand."

I get what you're saying... but if no one is actually social distancing, what's the point?

"And why is the karaoke staff in the room with us?!" Atena suddenly yelled. "I really don't get why she's sitting right next to Yuu!"

"Yuu...? Did that... woman... just call Kashiwagi-sama... 'Yuu'?" Shouko's voice was cold.

"Yeah, I did! He said I could, so it's not a problem!"

Just as Atena said, Shouko had guided us to the room... and then just... walked in with us. Not that I was going to tell her to leave. In fact, if she had tried to leave, I would've asked her to stay.

"And... Tiara-chan... why are you kneeling in front of me and trying to unbuckle my belt?"

"(...Because I'm going to sit on your lap?)"

"...Okay. Let's say... hypothetically... I agreed to let you sit on my lap. That would be over my pants. If the pants come off, that's not 'sitting,' that's... 'a sex act.' Also, even if you're tiny and cute, you're still a girl my age. I'm not letting you sit on my lap." ...Why are you looking at me with such profound shock?

"Kashiwagi-sama, muttering strange things to yourself while staring into a small child's eyes... is perhaps not..."

"I'm not muttering to myself! Her voice is just quiet! We're having a conversation!"

"Yuugiri-kun, you must be thirsty," Shizuka purred. "I'll go order you a drink. What would you like?"

"Eh? We haven't even sung yet... We don't need to... go outside to order, do we?" ...And even if we were singing, you'd use the tablet, not the intercom, right?

"KASHIWA-SAMA! I believe that woman is plotting to... 'contaminate'... your beverage!"

"No, no, I'm sure she wouldn't..." ...I said, but... with Shizuka-san... I can't be 100% sure.

"Yuu! Hey! It's roomy over here! C'mon!" Atena waved.

"Oh, yeah. Good call."

"(Yuu-kun, if your lap is no good, a piggyback ride is fine.)"

"Why would 'lap = no' but 'piggyback = yes'? And piggybacks are from the back. If you climb on from the front, that's... a different kind of 'ride'..."

"Yuugiri-kun, what about food? I think... semi-solids would be... 'easier to mix'... ahem... 'easier to eat'..."

"KASHIWA-SAMA! SHE'S SHOWN HER TRUE COLORS! PERMISSION TO SUBDUE?!"

"YUU?! WHY DID SHE JUST PULL A GUN?!"

"(Yuu-kun, if I'm too heavy, Tiara can be on the bottom. But... you have to take your pants off first.)"

Atena... for some reason... sees Shouko as an enemy. Shizuka... is just... radiating a "yandere curse" vibe. Shouko... sees Shizuka as a "Class-A Threat." And Tiara... is just... trying to get my pants off.

...What is this chaos? We just came to karaoke after school, right? We're all here to sing, right? I can't rein this in if everyone is just doing whatever they want! What is this? Is everyone here a kindergartener except me? Is this a monkey cage?

"...Everyone. It seems Kashiwagi-sama is angry. Please cease your foolishness at once."

"How can you say that, like you're the only sane one?!" Atena snapped. "You're the one who pulled a gun on a student! You're the craziest one here!"

"I'm sorry I just got a little flustered it's my first time please don't kick me out please don't hate me please love only me."

"(Yes. This is all Shizuka's fault.)"

...I'm not angry... And Shizuka-san, please, you're actually creeping me out. Okay. To calm everyone down... I'll just... order some food and drinks. Wait... the drinks... WATER... is over 1,000 yen?! This is terrifying. And this food menu... This is not karaoke food! Full-course Japanese meals? Chinese banquets? Who eats this while singing?! I want fries! Takoyaki! Karaage! Give me the cheap, junky stuff! The stuff that screams 'I came from a freezer' just by looking at it!

"What shall we do, Kashiwagi-sama? Shall we start with the 'light' dim sum course?"

"There is nothing 'light' about that... but... compared to everything else... it's the most 'snack-like,' so... fine. Whatever. Let's just get that."

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