Overloaded With Attributes Chapter 29
In the Midst of the Sprechchor
On the way home from the entrance ceremony, I, who "made friends" (Note: 'friends' includes 'people who just talked to me'), came to karaoke.
The party members:
Super beautiful (Horror-type)
Tiny & Cute (Legal Loli)
Boyish (Boyish-type)
And my live-in Onee-san.
It was a pretty "dense" group (or because it was?), but it was insanely fun! I just want to go back and tell my past self: "Your 'youth' is about to begin!"
However, all fun things must come to an end.
And what's waiting after the fun? Why, "Reality (Money)," of course.
"For five guests, four hours of time, that will be 238,550 yen."
"I'm sorry, what?"
We came down the elevator to the lobby. The Demon King—no, the smiling staff-lady—at the counter, informed us. I looked at the number written on the "black leather check-holder-thingy" (Official name: Unknown), and my world stopped.
I mean, I knew, okay? I knew from the start. I sensed that "this place looks expensive~." But come on. Two-digit-ten-thousand-yen?! (over 200k) That's a little outside the "expected range"!!
While I was frozen solid, the girls beside me all smoothly pulled cards from their wallets.
What is that?! Why do they look so cool?!
"(Tiara invited Yuu-kun. Tiara pays.)"
"No, no, I'm the one who's closest to Yuu. Let me pay."
"Oh? Yuugiri-kun's 'wallet' is my responsibility from now on."
"Stand down, children. Kashiwagi-sama's entertainment expenses will be paid by me, his GENE Protection Officer."
What are these girls?! Oil Princesses?!
And, just thinking about it, how can high school girls just casually drop this kind of cash?! How much allowance do they... Ah. Right. The women in this country have a weird sense of money.
Like Kikuko-san, who tried to give me an apartment as a discharge gift. Like Shouko-san, who actually bought an apartment with her "pocket money." They don't just "dip into savings," they go into debt for a man. It goes way past "grateful" and loops right back around to "terrifying."
Of course, the opposite is a non-starter. You know, the "Certain-Ward Girls" who'd get mad if you split the bill and then go on SNS to complain. But this, having them fight to pay, is also really, really awkward.
I haven't spent any of my allowance, so I know what's in there, but I pulled out my wallet anyway.
RRRRRRIIIIIP! (Velcro!)
"...Yep. Definitely only 20,000 yen."
Which, for a high schooler, is a lot of money! But in this atmosphere, letting the girls pay for everything... My "baby-biscuit-sized pride" won't allow it. (And no, the emphasis isn't on 'Baby's Tits,' it's on 'Baby Biscuit,' just so we're clear.)
"W-Well, hey! This was 'my recital,' so leave this to me and you all go on ahead!"
Why is everyone, including the staff, giving me the "Eh?!" face? No, wait. If my friend suddenly spouted a 'death flag' line like a chuunibyou, I'd probably make that face, too.
Okay. I steeled myself. Time to unseal "Shota Mode"!
"Onee-chan..." (Big sis...)
"...Eh? O-Onee-chan?! Did I have a little brother this cute? Maybe I did?"
"...Discount pwease...?"
"Hauu?!"
With watery eyes, I gave a little "head tilt." Yes. Right now, I am a helpless baby herbivore, designed to invoke "protectiveness." My name is "Yuugiri-chan the Bunny Rabbit"!
Look, you can't get blood from a stone! I know Shouko-san will just end up paying, but if I can just get a little bit knocked off the top... Lucky!
"O-Of course! T-Today's bill, I will...!"
Ah, damn. This woman is "one of them," too. But that doesn't solve the problem! A girl is still paying!
"No, dat's bad. I don't want to be a 'burden' to Onee-chan..."
"Fuooooh?! I-I-It's fine! Onee-chan is the 'Manager' of this store! So if I just 'press this' and 'rewrite this'... There! Your 'record' of playing with your friends never happened <3!"
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!! STOP COMMITTING BORDERLINE-ILLEGAL ACCOUNTING FRAUD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MEEEEEE!!
"I never thought the day would come when a 'boy' would treat me," Atena said, dazed. "Thank you. I can live for ten years on this memory alone."
"That's a bit of an exaggeration."
"You really need to understand what a 'huge deal' this is for a girl. Still, that was a surprising 'brute-force' technique you pulled."
Well, here's the thing. The karaoke bill ended up being zero. And no, the manager didn't "pay it herself."
So, what happened was...
"Uh, I can't let you just 'eat the cost'. Ah! What if I 'worked' here part-time?"
"P-P-P-PART-TIME?! A 'boy' working?! Are you insane?! That's 'sacrilege'. Part-time... Ah!! There is a 'short-time,' 'high-pay,' 'no-strings-attached' job that 'only a man can do'!!"
The manager got really excited. Shouko-san glared at the manager exactly like she glares at Shizuka. And I was "a little intrigued" by this "shady-sounding" offer.
"...Still, I can't believe 'that paltry sum' was enough for 'permission to take a photo for the promotional panel'..." Shizuka muttered.
Yep. The "shady job" was just "modeling for a promo panel." Proof: "This store is safe for boys! A boy actually came!"
"I mean, one photo for that much yen? And a free pass for life? Was that manager sane?"
"The one who made her insane was 'Shota-giri'," Shizuka whispered.
"So cute. I wish he would wear shorts, so cute. I wish he would call me Shouko-oneechan... No, 'Filthy Pig' or 'Trash Bug'..."
"(Shizuka, your 'desire' is 'leaking'.)" "(Tiara wants 'Onii-chan' (big bro), not 'Otouto' (little bro).)"
"On the contrary," Shouko-san adjusted her (non-existent) glasses. "That store just acquired 'the invaluable advertising potential' of 'a chance to see Kashiwagi-sama in the flesh.' It was a bargain."
"Are you serious? So if I need cash, I could just do a recital or a dinner show at that place and make a ton of money..."
"I can only see a future where the customers who couldn't get in start a Sprechchor (a protest chant). Please refrain."
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