Cheated and Restarted Chapter 10

A Life Where I Just Wanted to Drink at Home with a Cute Girl

The fun weekend ended, and the usual daily life returned. If anything changed, it's that I now have a group to eat lunch with regularly. Spending lunchtime with those three is fun. Occasionally, I felt like my wife was glancing at me tentatively, but since I had no idea why, I ignored it.

And above all.

"I have absolutely no clue what Hagiri is trying to do...!"

It was after classes ended and I returned to my room, doing my usual daily routine of stock trading. Comparing the investigation report from the detective I hired with the notebook where I transcribed my future knowledge, I was researching Hagiri as well. Normally, I should have ignored him. But before I knew it, even in this world after the time leap, I had gotten involved with both my wife and Hagiri. The situation is, in a sense, worse than the previous world. In the previous world, my wife's cheating was, to put it extremely, a story that could be settled as my personal emotional problem, but in this world, it's different. I was worried about Yuzuriha and Milan. If it were just me, I have confidence I could run away. But those two definitely cannot escape if Hagiri is the opponent. I am the only one who can protect them. That's why I wanted to probe into what Hagiri wants to do. But I had no clue at all. The detective failed the investigation due to Hagiri's tight guard, and instead only reported on the assets he likely possesses. My future knowledge only contains facts like he's my wife's childhood friend and first boyfriend, and that he will eventually start a venture business and become a billionaire.

"Probably the key point is the content of his future business, but... I don't know... I want to punch my past self...!"

Back then, I was shocked by Hagiri's existence, which I learned about for the first time after my wife was stolen. A mega-venture billionaire and a celebrity. Just with that, I thought I already lost as a man, so I didn't investigate anything further. That guy admitted to the affair honestly, so there was no need to investigate anything either. No, I was afraid to know more and realize that my wife's love was lost.

"Damn... if I knew the seed of his startup, I could even snatch it from the side...!"

Honestly speaking, I can't afford to worry about appearances either. That guy has been acting since before entering university. That guy has past accumulation; I have future knowledge. It even seems like our advantages are canceling each other out. If I could just grasp the seed of his startup, the source of his power and steal it, I could win. But I don't even know that. I put my face down on the desk and sighed. My current situation is just to earning money little by little with stocks. But no matter how much money I pile up, I can't visualize a vision of beating him.

"Whatever, that's enough for today. I'm going to sleep... I’m going to sulk and sleep...!"

I made a decent profit on stocks today too. If I keep this up, I can amass a great fortune in the future. I have a dream of my own. To have my own architectural firm. I want to create architecture as my own art. Money, power, I don't need such things. Because only beauty and love are what I want.

And just as I lay on the bed and tried to close my eyes, my smartphone rang. Ayashiro's name appeared on the screen. Not a message app, but a rare phone call. I answered immediately.

'I'm sorry. Calling so late at night.'

"What's up?"

'I'll say it bluntly. Let me stay at your house. I missed the last train and am at the Komaba Campus right now.'

"Eh? Seriously? How about staying at Milan's place? She's at Tayoshi Dorm, so it's inside the campus."

'She told me no because she's going to a club in Roppongi for her part-time job today. So I can only rely on your place. If it's Shimokita, I can walk there from here.'

"Uhh... well. Look, as much as I’d like to help you out... honestly, I recommend you take a taxi to Shibuya and crash at a manga café or a business hotel."

There was no way I could actually let a girl sleep at my place. When a man and a woman are alone under the same roof, one thing is bound to lead to another. Sure, I could control myself, but it would still be a frustrating night.

'Wow, you really don’t mince words, do you? If this were any of the guys from my department, they’d be playing the role of the 'understanding boyfriend' and letting me stay like perfect gentlemen! I bet they’d be totally satisfied just having me over without laying a single finger on me all night!'

"Sorry about that. But I’m not one of those 'understanding' guys. I simply cannot allow a beautiful woman such as yourself to stay in my humble abode."

'Fufufu. That part of you is actually kind of cute. So, I’ll be upfront with you: I do want to stay over, but I won't allow a "One Chance" at all, and I'm not playing "hard to get" either. There will be absolutely no sex.'

"Wow. I don't think men and women should talk about such things so openly. There's something called tacit understanding."

You hear it often, right? If a woman comes to a man's room and they don't have sex, it actually makes things awkward later. Even if she says nothing herself, she wants the man to invite her forcefully but gently while leading. I think women want to be desired by men in that way. At least, my wife when we first started dating was that type. Though before I knew it, she became Ponkotsu (clumsy) and started inviting me herself.

'Enjoy such high-context non-verbal communication with other women. It's not much of a substitute, but I'll make breakfast and a bento for lunch tomorrow. Of course, I'll pay for the ingredients.'

"Ho? Are you saying you can satisfy my tongue? Is that what you claim? Hmm?"

I became interested in Ayashiro's persistence. How should I put it, she's a woman who comes straight in various ways. A strange person who is coquettish yet she never fawns over you. I always think she's interesting.

'Of course. Honestly, I'm super good at cooking. I can make something delicious out of leftovers, or make something gourmet if I have the right stuff. I can make anything. But if you say "anything is fine," I'll beat you up.'

"I want to eat Nikujaga. By the way, I'll ask just in case? What will you do if I transform into a wolf?"

'In that case, I will despise you forever. If you're okay with that, go ahead and become a wolf! If you want to be despised by me forever for a moment of pleasure, go ahead! Devour this body as much as you want!'

Ah, that's impossible. I can't win against this woman. Because I felt that being despised would be far more painful than not being able to sleep with her. I hold a strange respect for Ayashiro. Even though honestly I'm distrustful of women since my wife's cheating.

"Being despised by you is unbearable. Fine. If my place is okay, you can stay. You're at the campus now, right? Wait inside. I'll come pick you up."

'Is it okay? Then I'll take you up on your offer. Thank you.'

"No problem. Wait a bit then."

I hung up the phone and left the room immediately. I got into my car in the parking lot and headed to the Komaba Campus. Shimokita is very close to the Komaba Campus. So I arrived in front of the campus in no time at all. I got out of the car and called Ayashiro.

"I thought you were quite fast, but you had a car."

"Yeah, I bought it recently. How is it? Isn't it cool? Hmm?"

"A 4WD is tasteful. Honestly, I thought if you bought a car, it would be something flashy like a sports car."

My car is a large outdoor-spec four-wheel-drive vehicle. A type with insane horsepower where power is justice, capable of running smoothly even on rough mountain roads.

"I'm different from other guys. Kukuku. Well, half of it is my hobby. My dad in Hokkaido drives this kind of car too."

The other half is because the car Hagiri owns is a sports car. I refuse to have the same car as that guy!

"Well then, pardon the intrusion. Sorry to ask while we're at it, but please stop by a supermarket or convenience store. Women need preparation even to sleep."

Despite saying things like this, the other day you slept soundly without even taking off your colored contacts, right? Seems your eyes are okay though.

"Even though you slept like a log without a care the other day! Ahaha!"

Ayashiro got into the passenger seat, and I started the car. On the way back home, we stopped by a supermarket that was barely still open, and Ayashiro bought lotion, a toothbrush, and other necessities for staying over. Also ingredients for Nikujaga while she was at it. Seems she'll really make it for me.

"Does your place have wine?"

She asked me at the alcohol corner with a wine bottle in one hand.

"No. Only beer. But if we're talking beer, I've got a lineup I'm pretty confident in."

"Is that so? Hmm. Then when in Rome, do as the Romans do. What do you want for snacks?"

Somehow it's naturally flowing into drinking at home. Well, I don't have classes until second period tomorrow, so I don't mind.

"If I say 'anything,' I'll get beaten up, right. Please make some delicious cheese dish."

"Understood. Look forward to it. Fufufuun!"

Ayashiro looked in high spirits as she tossed some cheeses and various other things into the basket.

*** Driving! ***

We arrived at the apartment where I live quickly. And I showed Ayashiro into my room. As soon as she entered the room, Ayashiro looked over my room from corner to corner. My room is an ordinary one-room apartment. If I were to boast about something, the soundproofing performance is insane. This apartment is the type where no matter how much you play instruments, there's absolutely no problem, and no matter how much noise you make, it's okay. In fact, in the previous world, I continued to live here even after graduating university, and even when my wife moved in and no matter how loud we got during sex, no Kabedon (wall banging complaint) came even once. I lived here all the way until we decided to live together. It's so nostalgic that even though I have money saved up now, I can't bring myself to move. Come to think of it, this might be the first time a woman other than my wife entered this apartment, even including the previous world (Excluding Mashiba. I hate her, so I don't count her as a woman).

"I'm surprised. It's clean. Aren't boys' rooms usually messy? My little brother's room is a disaster."

"Heh, you have a brother. How old?"

"He still goes to kindergarten. He's at a mischievous age and cute. Fufufu."

Sounds like quite the age gap. Her parents must get along well. Haha! I yearn for a marriage like that! It just sounds like self-torture now.

"Can I borrow your shower before I cook?"

"Oh. Sure. You can use the soap and shampoo as you like."

If this were a rom-com manga, my heart would be pounding right now, but I realized I'm oddly used to this situation. It's a cynical kind of experience. I wish I had more pure feelings. Ayashiro is also behaving boldly, so there's no element to be embarrassed about. I wanted to be flustered just by the sound of the shower. That’s what I thought.

*** Showering! ***

Women's baths are long. It's something that can probably be described not just as an established theory but as a truth, a theorem, or a law. Not leaking from that example, Ayashiro's bath was also long.

"The bath temperature was just right. I studied really hard today, so this felt great."

Ayashiro's voice came from behind me as I was watching TV.

"Oh. You came out. How about a beer after the bath?"

I steeled myself a little before turning around. Ayashiro was probably without makeup right now. Ayashiro is very beautiful, but perhaps without makeup, she might not be that much. That kind of possibility is normally possible. My wife was too beautiful even without makeup, but not everyone is like that. Then, steeling myself, I turned around.

"Yeah. I'll have a beer. A beer is nice once in a while, isn't it? Ufufu."

Turning around, I met Ayashiro's blue eyes. She is wearing the shorts and T-shirt I lent her. Or rather, her eyes are blue? Hmm? Normally, don't people take out colored contacts when taking a bath? Huh? Huhuuh? I handed a can of beer to Ayashiro. And Ayashiro quickly gulped it down.

"Puhaa! Kuuuu! Nice! You can't find this sharpness in wine! Beer after a bath! What a wonderful cultural activity! Kukuku."

Ayashiro without makeup was very beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful. But you know. Her face is totally different from usual! Her features are deep, and the bridge of her nose is high and straight. From the looks of it, her features look Caucasian. Which means her eyes were natural, not colored contacts. Her blonde hair probably too. It looked too natural for dyed hair. I see. That's why she slept normally without taking out contacts. Makes sense.

"What? Staring at my face. Do you have something you want to say?"

"No, nothing in particular. The vibe is different from usual, but you're beautiful as always."

But thinking about it carefully, I felt like it didn't matter. Race and such don't matter. I have no interest in such things.

"Oh my. That kind of reaction is a first. You're the first person not to show a suspicious reaction seeing this face. Aren't you going to ask? Like, where are those features from?"

"Eh? No, not really. Rather than that, hurry up and make snacks. I'm super expecting it! Something that fits beer! Please!"

I brought out a special expensive, super delicious craft beer for Ayashiro. I won't accept anything less than suitable snacks!

"...Heh... really the same reaction as always. ...Fufu... Yes. Please look forward to it! I'll make a special snack for you! Ufufu."

Seeming in a good mood, Ayashiro stood in the kitchen and started cooking. Looking at her back makes me feel quite happy. Seems like it's going to be a fun home drinking session today!

---

We laid out the snacks Ayashiro made on the low table and toasted. The snack is Japanese-style broth cheese fondue. It's super delicious. It goes well with bread, vegetables, and ham. Ayashiro-san is seriously versatile. I'd rather know what she can't do.

"Why did you miss the last train today?"

"I was thinking of applying for a thesis contest, and I was writing it in the lab of a professor I know. When I realized it, it was already this time. A silly story, right?"

"Heh. A thesis contest, huh. You're already working hard starting from the first year."

There are many thesis contests and debates for university students. They vary from those for job hunting purposes, circle activities, to those for NPOs. The "Ambitious-type (lol)" crowd usually doesn't participate in those because there's little fruit for the labor. It’s mostly the truly driven people who participate.

And while drinking beer, Ayashiro smiles.

"Not as much as you. You've been doing various things lately, haven't you? Both Misaki and Yuzuriha are being targeted by that Hagiri. You're going to fight, right? Against him."

"Well, yeah. If it were just me, I could manage somehow, but I can't leave those two alone."

"I see. That's good. I like those two. So it's reassuring that you're protecting them. Fufufu. Hey? Can I ask one thing?"

"What?"

"What kind of fateful connection do you, Hagiri, and Ririse Igarashi have?"

"That is... sorry. I can't say."

I didn't want to lie to Ayashiro. A little while ago, I intended to fabricate some suitable story. But now, I can't do that anymore.

"I see. Right. I have one hypothesis; won't you listen? Actually, you are childhood friends with those two."

"Haha. What is this, a manga?. Go on."

"You are the third childhood friend who was forgotten by those two. You and Ririse Igarashi promised to marry when you were kids, but she forgot, and only you remember it. Even worse, she thinks she made that promise with Hagiri. How's that for a theory? Doesn't that explain the hatred you direct toward Hagiri and the love-hate you feel for Ririse Igarashi?"

"Ahahaha! That's great! That! If only that were the case, that would be the best! Ahahaha! Hahahaha!"

I burst out laughing. It felt like an interesting spin on a template rom-com. If I were the rival in a rom-com where Hagiri was the protagonist, that storyline would be perfect. But the truth is much simpler. There were two people who were fated to be together, and I was just the man who happened to cut into their destiny. There was no fate, no history, and no destiny between my wife and me. No wonderful love story that seems likely to get high viewer ratings. It was nothing but a mundane, boring encounter. Even the reason I fell for my wife is the kind of thing any gloomy introvert would understand.

"So, your story with Hagiri and Ririse Igarashi is much simpler, and frankly, much more boring."

"That's right. It's so dull and boring I'd be embarrassed to tell it. There's no cool fate or destiny. It's just a problem of my personal feelings."

This story would end the moment I gave up my obsession with my wife.

"I see. Then I won't ask. I haven't talked much about myself either. Actually, didn't you think it was a bit strange? That I was hiding my background and identity?"

"Not really. I'm not such a splendid man to complain about a girl's makeup. Do as you please. Just don't hold a grudge if I don't notice when you change your nail polish."

"Ahaha. If you don't notice the difference in my nails, I’ll scratch you like a cat! Meow!"

Ayashiro curled the fingers of her right hand like a cat's paw and stroked my cheek. The ticklish sensation feels very pleasant.

"My mother is a first-generation immigrant from a Hispanic American country. She immigrated from her Latin American homeland with her parents for economic reasons. She met my father while he was studying abroad in America, they got married, and then they came to Japan. It must have been rough, going back and forth like that."

"Heh. That's quite a complex background. Is that the reason you don't want to talk about your roots?"

"Yes. It's just a pain to talk about. Even if I tell ordinary Japanese people about my complex roots, they won't understand. But I like my name. Himena is a Spanish name. But it doesn't feel too out of place in Japanese either."

"Indeed. When I first heard it, I didn't feel anything strange except for the accent."

"By the way, the spelling in the alphabet is X-i-m-e-n-a. Isn't having X as the initial letter cool?"

"Chuunibyou lololol! But it totally fits The Great Teacher Ayashiro! Ahaha!"

"I know, right! Ahahahaha!"

We laughed loudly together. And from there, we just continued with stupid talk.

*** When alcohol enters, don't people tend to have argumentative talks when drinking one-on-one? Silly Talk in Progress! ***

"Listen? In other words, jurisprudence is the gathering of human wisdom! Therefore, the jury is full of boobs! And the law is flat chest!!" (pai-shin-in ga ippai oppai! Shite houritsu wa chippai chippai!!) (it’s a fucking rhyme)

"In other words, showing half a butt in court confirms a guilty verdict!!"

"Exactly! Come to think of it, our university has a mix of modern buildings and traditional buildings. I think that's good in its own way."

"Right. Everything mixes together. In other words, a university is a place where students come to unite (Gattai)."

"Unite lol! Go study! lololol Apologize to the non-popular guys who can't unite!! Ahyahaha!"

"By the way, how do you like my car? Plenty of room for camping, right?"

"That's nice. Let's go camping with everyone during summer vacation! By the way, I bet one shot of tequila that Misaki tries to look cool starting a fire, ends up failing, then make some virgin-like excuse!"

"That's not even a fair bet! lolol Milan will definitely fail to start the fire, and conversely Yuzuriha will start the fire efficiently, and Milan is bound to be provoked for being Humanities student! Hahaha!"

"How charming! By the way, I want to ask a science major, does the universe have an end?"

"Sorry. Only God knows that answer. Also, I'm the type who's doing science just because I want to do architecture, so I'm a fake science major. Seriously talking about romantic science stuff is harassment!"

"Come to think of it, why did you choose architecture?"

"That’s because I failed the art university entrance exam. So, for a while after high school, I worked as a construction worker in Sapporo. I happened to be involved in the construction of a super cool designer building. I thought, 'This is it!' I realized architecture was art. So I studied for the entrance exams while still working construction and got into this place."

"Oh my. That's admirable and interesting."

"Right? Not to brag, but I have licenses for excavators and heavy construction machinery! I have experience in all construction work and have various construction-related qualifications! Not to brag though!!"

"It's totally a brag! Ahaha! But you worked hard-dechu ne~ Let me praise you~!"

Seriously nothing but stupid talk. When we realized it, the time was past 2 AM.

＊

Ririse, on the other side of the window, was jumping from topic to topic chattering away as usual. My house and Ririse's house are next door, and our rooms face each other through the windows. Close enough that if we wanted to, we could cross over. Until junior high school, Ririse often came over to my side through the window.

"I'm so disappointed! I thought there wouldn't be math once I entered university, but there's Liberal Arts Math course! Vectors are just arrows! Why do they want to calculate so much! Don't you think so too, Hiroto!?"

"Well, math is mandatory for science majors. Or rather, you thought there wouldn't be math? Why did you choose architecture... Even though I told you to just quietly choose the Faculty of Letters."

Ririse hates math. It's not that she can't calculate. Her grades were good too. But she always complains about limits and calculus. When it comes to complex numbers, she goes as far as saying, "They don't exist in my universe." Yet I don't really understand the reason she advanced to science by her own will. I tried to persuade her to go to humanities properly, but she stubbornly refused. She's usually obedient, but occasionally she goes out of my control, which makes me fed up.

"So you see! I bought a scientific calculator for calculations, and then at the store, I coincidentally met Kato-san and others who were in the same class in the first year of high school! So I asked, 'Want to go to the expensive cafeteria?' but they said they were going to the bakery today! I hadn't gone to the bakery yet, so I thought it was perfect timing and went with them, and it was delicious! Melon bread and Anpan! Also pudding!"

"Pudding at a bakery?"

"Yeah! Pudding is delicious, right! Someday I want to make pudding in a bucket!"

"Should we try making one during the Golden Week family trip? We're going to the mountains this year; we could try it by the river?"

This year's Golden Week family trip is a joint trip between my family and Ririse's family. I wasn't involved in the planning. I know Ririse's parents want to get me and Ririse together. My parents seem enthusiastic too.

"Eh? Hmm. Come to think of it, it's almost Golden Week. Hey, Hiroto. Won't you make up with Tokiwa-kun before the break starts?"

An unpleasant person's name came up. There's nothing to "make up" about; we were never friends to begin with.

"He and I just don't get along."

"Isn't the usual Hiroto someone who gets along well even with people he doesn't match with? Tokiwa-kun isn't a bad person. He's a good person."

It is often said that a guy a woman calls "a good person" is someone who doesn't matter to her, but even so, it's rare for Ririse to say that. Ririse doesn't bring up boys in conversation much. She is basically uninterested in romance or men. That's exactly why Kanahisa Tokiwa, who comes up at all, is a deeply concerning sign.

"I told you, right? He is not a good person. You shouldn't get close. Nothing good will come of it."

"But Hiroto, during the play the other day, you went to see Tokiwa-kun and Misaki, right? You're interested in Tokiwa-kun, right?"

Ririse grins as if teasing me. I envy her carefree nature .Meanwhile, I've been thrown off balance by that Kanahisa Tokiwa ever since the entrance ceremony.

"I was just worried about Isumi-san. Because it would be terrible if she received bad influence from him."

I drove the nail in just in case. I showed the will that I am ready to reclaim the valuable talent called Misaki Isumi anytime. But when he is nearby, things always start to go wrong.

"Misaki was beautiful at that time, wasn't she. So you worried even though you didn't need to worry? How stupid."

While keeping a smile, Ririse spat that out with a terribly cold voice. That's unusual. Is she angry at Misaki Isumi? It's true that Miki has left my side and hasn't been with Ririse lately. Ririse liked Misaki Isumi. During dinners with VIPs, they spent time chatting happily together. Does she think she was betrayed? Or perhaps...? No, let's stop prying. Ririse is moody. Her object of interest changes quickly. It's probably fine to leave it alone. Talking more won't be fruitful.

"Ririse. It's already two in the morning. You have morning practice for the cheerleading club tomorrow, right? You should go to sleep."

"Hmm, you're right. Then goodnight. Bye bye."

Ririse closed the window and the curtains immediately without fussing. I also closed my window and curtains. Then I faced the desk and booted up my PC.

"Hey Hiro. Why do you care about someone like Tokiwa so much? Isn't he nobody important?"

A voice was heard from the bed. Tomoe woke up and hugged me from behind. Seems Tomoe had been pretending to sleep and eavesdropping on my conversation with Ririse the whole time. At least she knows her place and doesn't show herself to Ririse, but it's still unpleasant.

"Were you listening? It’s a Bad taste."

I didn't turn around to face Tomoe, nor did I push her away. I kept my gaze fixed on the monitor. Displayed there were the results of various background checks on Kanahisa Tokiwa and a report analyzing his current relationship with Misaki Isumi and Yuzuriha Kouyou from various angles.

"I just happened to hear. Or rather, Tokiwa isn't a big deal! He's just a small fry who just envies Hiro because you're in the Medical Faculty! He just runs his mouth to Riri, complaining about the circles! He's honestly so annoying! Riri is kind so she takes him seriously. That's all."

"But the story he tells about the circle is fact, though. That Medical Faculty intercollegiate tennis circle is nothing but a meeting place. No, a market? The men offer their high social status as a medical student, and the women exchange their bodies as sexual currency. It's nothing more than extremely primitive mating behavior similar to a troop of monkeys. It's ridiculous."

"Eh... but he was making fun of Hiro and everyone..."

"It doesn't matter. Honestly, from an objective standpoint, the fool isn't him, but me. I'm aware of it. I've decided to live and die for my dream, after all."

I know for a fact there is clear hatred in his eyes when he looks at me. Men who fall in love with Ririse often look at me that way. I thought he was one of them, but considering that, his attitude toward Ririse is extremely ambiguous. That irritates me. I can’t read his motives. I can’t decide what to do. Yet, two of the key personnel I need to realize my dream are currently in his hands. Especially the loss of Yuzuriha Kouyou is quite severe.

"Hey Hiro. Tokiwa is in the way, right? Then let's fabricate a scandal, like we always do! If we get him expelled..."

"If we do that, he will definitely come to kill me."

"W-what? You're joking... right?"

Tomoe was confused. That's what I mean when I say she doesn't get it. She's slow on the uptake. That's why she can never beat Ririse.

"I'm not joking. If I cross the line, he will immediately try to eliminate me using violent means. I saw it in his eyes. He is not sane. He is a beast holding himself back."

That's why the fight between him and me must be kept gentlemanly, destroying each other strictly within the legal line. I've never fought such an opponent before. Even though I've crossed dangerous bridges against Yakuza and Hangure (semi-gangs) many times, his danger level is far higher. Ririse always manages to attract guys like this.

"If only Ririse didn't exist... this wouldn't have happened..."

I ended up muttering in a small voice that even Tomoe couldn't hear. But that was my true feeling.

＊

I was feeling wide awake. Lately, I've had so many nights like this. That's why I can't sleep properly unless I talk to Hiroto to distract myself. Though, I’m sure Hiroto finds having to listen to my rambling exhausting.

"I wonder why I always end up looking only at Tokiwa-kun."

There is a version of me lately that has been chasing him with my eyes all the time. Even though a little while ago I could approach him actively, now I can no longer do that. I find myself unable to handle my feelings. The first time I noticed him was at the entrance ceremony. When we met, I didn't particularly feel anything. I only remember that the makeup of the blonde girl next to him was a bit excessive and scary. His figure was clearly reflected in my eyes when he irritated Hiroto. My childhood friend Hiroto is probably a perfect man. Any girl would say she wanted to date Hiroto. He could do anything, study or sports. Not just in class, but in the whole school, the whole region, no, wherever he went, he was popular. Surely girls in the world love boys like that. My father, mother, older sister, and younger sister all like Hiroto. Even I know what everyone expects from the upcoming Golden Week trip. Even compared to various men, there's probably no one who can match Hiroto. I've never dated a man, but I understand enough that the option called Hiroto is surely the best compared to anyone. That's why I thought such a person didn't exist. Someone who would go out of their way to dislike that amazing Hiroto.

"Being disliked by Hiroto is amazing, isn't it. I wonder if Tokiwa-kun isn't scared?"

It was the first time I saw someone truly disliked by everyone's popular Hiroto. I was surprised. That's why I became interested. He was unexpectedly kind, but to me, he was rough and blunt, which kind of pissed me off. Even so, it was fun. That's why I wanted Hiroto to get along with Tokiwa-kun. But maybe it's impossible now. Golden Week is coming soon. Then, probably, the end will begin.

"Why can't I do anything? Even though I feel so frustrated."

I'm a fool who messed up badly in the past. I shouldn't be allowed to initiate anything myself. That's why I asked Hiroto, but as expected, I was refused. There aren't many opportunities left to chat with Tokiwa-kun. There is only a little time left.

"But this was for the best, right. If I did something myself, I would surely make a mistake again..."

I'd done something I couldn't change. I committed a sin that cannot be atoned for. If they knew that, everyone would leave me. Probably only Hiroto would remain by my side forever. Because receiving punishment alone is lonely. Until that day comes, I want to be with someone.

"That's why I shouldn't drag anyone else into this. But... but... when I receive my retribution..."

I don't know what form the future punishment waiting for me will take. but I haven't forgotten about it for a single day. But, but, but. If, if, if it could come true.

"Tokiwa-kun. Would it be wrong to drag you into this? Look at me. Look at me while I receive my punishment..."

I have no right to be selfish. There is nothing I can do. I can’t decide anything for myself. If I decide, I’ll just make a mistake again. That's why I can't choose anything. I want to be swept away. Swept away, swept away, and quickly received my punishment. I want it to end. I close my eyes. Dreams always torment me. But still, let's continue to dream this dream. Until the day it all ends.

＊

Draining the canned beer with a gulping sound, Ayashiro raised her hand and said in a crisp voice with a beaming smile.

"I'll do a one-shot gag!"

"Hyuu! Go for it! Bomb it! Gyahaha!"

Ayashiro lay on her back on the bed and stretched both hands above her head.

"I'm a Tuna! (Maguro(dead fish in bed)) With you, I can't cuuuuum!"

After bending and opening both knees, she made her body flop around bichi-bichi.

"Tuna lololol hyahaha! A Tuna Girl on the bed is too hopeless! Heeh! You're hurting a man's delicate heart lolol"

Furthermore, from there, Ayashiro straightened both legs, brought both hands to her crotch, and formed a triangle with her fingers pointing toward the ceiling.

"From Tuna to Squid Sashimi!" (Ika Sashi)

Ayashiro moved her fingers, formed in a triangle, up and down endlessly above her waist.

"Stop it lolol hyahaha! Don't say Squid Sashimi lolol First time seeing an idiot making a pun on Sashimi with insert/pull (Nuki-Sashi) lolol"

"Now next is your turn! Bomb it! Bomb it! Hoooo!"

I really think this room is incredible for not letting the noise carry next door despite us being so loud. That’s why I’m going all out! I climbed onto the bed and lay down next to Ayashiro, who was sitting with her back against the wall.

"Yes! I'll now perform 'Doutei-kun's Failure'!"

I got into a missionary-like position alone and got on all fours with both hands on the bed.

"H-Here I go! Hmph! Hmph! Hmph! Hmph!"

Instead of moving my hips, I did push-ups on the spot. Ayashiro apparently found it funny, as she spurted out a little of the beer she was drinking.

"Pfft! Ahahaha! Gyahahaha! Hilarious lololol! Crazy! Hit the spot! It hit the spot. Hiii lol! Move your hips lolol why push-ups in missionary lololol seriously an idiot lololol"

Some virgins seriously make this kind of mistake. Instead of moving their hips, they end up doing push-ups on top of the girl. Note: that refers to me! My wife, who was being done push-ups on, also burst out laughing. What a terrible first experience.

"Phew... my arms are done for."

I flopped down onto the bed. It was a ridiculously fun time.

"Ahaha. It's fun. Really. Very fun. Ahaha. Hey Tokiwa. Are you the same as me? Unable to fully accept your own past?"

Looking at Ayashiro's face, she wore a very fleeting smile. There was a faint nuance of sadness.

"I'm spending time happily now. But about the past... yeah. I just can't accept it no matter what."

"You can't forgive it, can you? You too."

I haven't been able to forgive the past at all. My wife, of course, but what I can't forgive most is my own weakness that invited such a situation. If I had been a stronger man, that wouldn't have happened. I always think so. I am lacking. I'm desperately trying to fill that gap. Otherwise, I'll lose everything important to me. That's what scares me.

"Is that the same for you, Ayashiro?"

"Yes. There are things I can't forgive. Things I absolutely can’t forgive. I know I should forgive, but I just can’t. It’s impossible. It’s a bit of a heavy topic, but lately, I think I understand why religion teaches us to forgive people and why God forgives sins. Sin is too big, too much to handle, and too heavy to bear on your own. No matter how much you try to throw it away, it keeps chasing you, ready to crush us. It continues until the day you can forgive. It’s hell. That's why people dreamed up things like God. Because unless they throw everything to God, people will remain in pain forever."

I felt like I understood what Ayashiro was saying. The past can't be taken back. It’s a strange thing. Even though I time-leaped, the past keeps chasing me. My past should be the future's story, but even when time rewound, the past remained the past. Neither sin nor punishment will disappear. I couldn't forgive my wife's sin. So, to vent my frustrations, I punished her. And by doing so, I took on a new sin. I should have faced the past properly.

"Hey. I'm drunk, so I think I can say it now. Please. Someday when I face my own sin. Stay by my side and hold my hand."

Ayashiro lay down next to me. Her left hand gripped my right hand tightly. I see, Ayashiro is surely lonely just like me.

"Okay. Tell me when that time comes. I'll definitely go to your side."

"Thank you. In exchange. I will forgive your past for you."

I felt a soft sensation on my head. Ayashiro had pulled me into her chest. It was a very gentle warmth, like a mother holding her child.

"I've been watching what you've done. Everyone is happier because you were there. Don't you think that counts as atonement?"

"I don't know. But... if everyone is smiling, I’m happy too."

The days leading up to this point were fun. Of course, there were unpleasant things, too. But someone smiled because I was there. I feel like I can be proud of myself for just that.

"Right. You worked hard. Very, very hard. You are a very good boy."

Ayashiro patted my head and back. I surrendered myself to that comfort. Gradually becoming sleepy.

"Goodnight. Let's have a good dream together today."

And then I fell asleep. I’m sure the dream I had was a very happy one.

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