Overloaded With Attributes Chapter 62
The "Harem☆Party" (and the Stomach-Ache of Higashiyama-kun)
Monday arrived. I was completely sleep-deprived after being forced to stay up way too late on Sunday. And I had been living such a healthy life ever since I started sleeping with Shouko-san—bed at 10 PM, up at 6 AM.
I planned to catch up on sleep during the bus ride, but my luck ran out when, of all people, Akiyoshi won the lap pillow lottery.
"Um... sorry about this?"
"N-n-n-no, it's fine! In fact, thank you!!"
That girl... she actually sold her winning ticket!! So, I ended up on the lap of the super tense Nishimura-san. Yeah, there was no way I could sleep on the lap of a girl I've never even spoken to.
After arriving at the dungeon, I went through the usual routine. I rented my gear (just the usual rapier) and headed to the benches near the gate to meet up with Kazura-san.
"Yuu! I'm finally back by your side!"
"Ara, but his left arm is my reserved seat."
"(No more push-ups... no more sit-ups... squats are even worse...)"
"Tiara's look of agony has made my meals taste delicious lately!"
Setting aside the one total deviant in the group... for some reason, my entire party was waiting for me. Well, not "for some reason." It just means they finally overcame their mana sickness.
Atena and Shizuka looked confident, a total change from a week ago. ...Though Tiara-chan looks like she's been scarred for life.
And, of course, Kazura-san arrived, hefting that evil-looking battle-ax.
"Oh, you're all here? You recovered faster than I expected. Not that Kazura is going to praise you!"
"It's not like we wanted your praise..."
"KaKaKazu-san is the same as ever. But! We'll be supporting him from now on! Unrelated parties may now take their leave. Fufu, leave the rest to us and go home."
"Eh? Kazura isn't leaving. Because it's a wife's job to take care of her 'Big Brother (Husband)'!"
That furigana is not okay!
"Yuu? What exactly is going on?"
"Yuugiri-kun? Perhaps you should clearly explain just who your 'wife' is?"
"I don't know. I know nothing."
Sure, yesterday they made me sign some documents about "Mochi Mochi Lotion delivery"! But Shouko checked them all! There shouldn't have been any weird contracts mixed in!
...Wait. The item I have is "Slime Lotion," not "Mochi Mochi Lotion." Is that contract even valid? They can Appraise items in this world, right? How can the name be different from my Appraisal? I heard they use those eyeglass tools... their accuracy sucks. Maybe the item name doesn't even show up... or maybe they're just "localizing" it because they call slimes "Mochi"?
"Why are you ignoring us and zoning out?"
"Hm? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about lotion... Mochi Mochi Lotion."
"Even I don't start my day with my head full of slimy things."
We are not thinking along the same slimy vector, Akiyoshi!!
"Anyway, Kazura-san, are you sure you don't need to head back? I mean, I appreciate you sticking around..."
"I'd rather you said 'I'm happy' instead of 'I appreciate.' After all, I received all those betrothal gifts yesterday... right? Oh, do you all know what 'betrothal gifts' are? It's an old custom, faded for over a hundred years, where the man who takes a bride—"
"Yuu? I didn't get anything."
"Yuugiri-kun? N-Not that I'm asking for anything, of course."
"I don't know. I know nothing."
Thanks to Kazura's bragging, I'm completely surrounded by hostility first thing in the morning. It's true! The lotion deal—where they're 'cornering the market, releasing the beauty info, and then reselling at a 'premium (yet affordable) price'—is apparently going to make the Takatsukasa and Nakatsukasa families an insane amount of money. And the Skill Scroll is a priceless item only I can get!
But that wasn't a betrothal gift! It was a seasonal "thank you" gift!
Come on! I'm this close to experiencing the "Harem Party Adventure," a situation every man dreams of! I've finally achieved peak harem protagonist status, so why do I feel like I'm in the Hyaku Shiki fighting off both Scirocco and Haman at the same time?!
"So, what's the plan today, Big Brother? More Mochi hunting? There's not much point in you continuing that."
"Is that a dig at those of us who carry large shields?"
...Ah, right. This is what a harem party is like. Source: Higashiyama-kun, back in the other world. He was always clutching his stomach with a pale face. Please, can you guys just get along? My stomach is starting to hurt, too!
But this is just verbal sparring. They're just playing. They don't actually hate each other... I hope.
"So, everyone good with heading to A-Block today?"
"Big Brother! Kazura is thirsty!"
"Huh? Then go drink some tea. Shouko-san prepared a thermos, right?"
"Kazura wants an ice-cold fizzy drink!"
Stop being so selfish!
"...So. Did you send him away just to talk to us? I know I'm indebted to you, and it's wrong to say this, but... if you're ordering us to back off from Yuugiri-kun, I won't listen."
"Fufu, I'm not here to say that. If I did, I'd be the one he'd abandon."
"...Then what do you want?"
"It's not an order, just a warning. Some 'ground rules' for dungeoneering with him. You don't have to be so guarded."
"That just sounds like you're flexing on us, 'I know him better than you.' It's a little irritating."
"You're Akashi-chan, right? Men don't like overly jealous girls. Though, he'd probably just brag, 'She's just this way because she loves me'."
"So, what are these 'ground rules'?"
"It's nothing difficult. Just—no matter what happens, act 'completely normal.' He'll probably tell you to touch the Black Rock. When he does, whatever happens... don't scream, and don't ask questions."
"...That sounds terrifying. Can we get a more detailed explanation?"
"Of course... no-pe!☆"
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