Overloaded With Attributes Chapter 32

A Lively Discussion? 

We were visiting our "usual" (this is our second time) karaoke place to listen to Shizuka-san's apparently serious story.

Yep. As you can see, "we," as in, multiple people.

At first, it was just supposed to be me and Shizuka, well, three, including the bodyguard Shouko-san. But somehow, Atena and Tiara-chan tagged along, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Well, I guess they were worried about their friend, who's been down all day.

"Yuugiri-kun. Those two are not my friends."

Oh. Okay.

"Anyway, isn't this party room a little big just to talk? I was thinking something cozier? Like a three-mat room?" 

"Kashiwagi-sama. There is such a thing as 'status' in all matters." 

"Status"? What status? I'm just a normal guy. A lonely orphan. A big baby who still can't sleep unless someone holds his hand.

"Shouko-san. Yuugiri Rabbit will die if he's lonely." 

"What is that? So cute. Kashiwagi-sama, even if the magnetic poles were to shift, I would never leave you. Please rest assured."

We gently held hands, gazing into each other's eyes.

"Shouko-san." 

"Kashiwagi-sama." 

"Why did you two suddenly start flirting?!"

"Ahem. Setting that farce aside. My story." 

"Ah, right."

And so, Shizuka's "turn" began, or rather, she started explaining what happened after she got home from karaoke yesterday.

"I see. The fall of a noble house, harassment from jealous people who've never worked for anything, and an impossible demand from the main branch. Yes, a very common story."

Eh?

This, this 'over-the-top daytime soap opera' plot, is 'common'?!

"And, if I may, everything you've said so far just sounds like 'a small argument with a relative.' Surely, there's more?"

"You're right."

It seems this is the real problem.

Later that night, the mother of the girl Shizuka argued with, the 'head of the main family,' called her.

'Oh my. My daughter, with the best of intentions, went out of her way to invite even you from the branch family, and I hear you were 'dissatisfied'?

And I also hear you've been seen with an 'unfamiliar boy' recently?

Why wasn't I consulted on such an important matter?

This is what happens with women from a house that runs itself into the ground.

Well, fine. It's probably just a lie. fufu. No, you're right.

In that case, why don't you bring this 'gentleman' to the party with you?

I'll have an invitation delivered tomorrow, one for you and one for your 'imaginary boyfriend.'

You will come, won't you?

I'm sure you wouldn't be so selfish as to say 'no,' would you?

Well then, the day after tomorrow, at night.

The entire family will be so looking forward to seeing you at the South World Tower Hotel.'

What is this, a "template evil noble" story?

I can just picture some blonde, drill-haired, dress-wearing old hag's face superimposed over a letter written on parchment.

"So, she was being a snob, but it just boils down to 'bring your boyfriend to the party to prove he's real,' right? In that case, can't I just go with you? Problem solved?" 

"On the surface, yes, that is what it means. However, if we do that, it will send the message that 'the Akashi family are obedient dogs who will do whatever the main branch says, no matter the insult'."

O-okay.

"I mean, as you can see, I'm just a normal guy. I don't get this whole 'noble' 'subtlety' stuff at all."

What I'm trying to say is, I have no idea what to do.

"Kashiwagi-sama. Noble feuds are, fundamentally, 'brawls' using connections, status, violence, and money. It is not a world that a pure, kind, normal man like you should ever be involved in, so your reaction is the correct one. Though, men are often dragged into noble-related troubles, in particular."

I see. Not a single comforting word in there.

If this were the isekai, I could probably use my "Friend of the Hero (who I barely know)" power to fix this.

"The more I hear, the more useless I feel."

I glanced at Shizuka, sitting next to me. She looked lonely. Regretful.

Whatever it was, that expression doesn't suit a beautiful girl like her at all.

And I'm getting really pissed off at this old hag I've never even met for making her look like that.

"If my brain's useless, maybe my body isn't. So! How about we crash the party right before it starts, wearing masks? If we just wave a knife around and go nuts, no one will be talking about 'who showed up,' right?" 

"That is excessively 'brute-force.' It's insane. And you grossly underestimate the security at a noble gathering. You wouldn't even make it to the venue; you'd be arrested at the hotel entrance. Besides, Kashiwagi-sama, what do you want to do for Akashi-san? With all due respect, you two have only been classmates for a day or two." 

"Well, yeah, that's true. But, you know, it's like 'love at first 'fascination''? Shizuka-san is this beautiful, but she's also kind of a 'disaster,' isn't she? She's 'a 'damn' 'interesting' woman,' right?" 

"Yuugiri-kun, was that last part a compliment?"

Of course it was.

I mean, I thought this when I first saw her on the way to school. Shizuka-san is the kind of girl I shouldn't even be allowed to get close to. She's a once-in-a-lifetime encounter. To lose contact with her because of someone else's drama, that sucks.

So, if there's anything I can do.

"I know I'm saying it's 'for Shizuka-san,' but in the end, it's just me being selfish. I just don't want to regret it later. And, you know, maybe someone will see me trying hard and 'think I'm cool'?"

"What is this, 'coyness'? Are you trying to make more women fall for you? Are you trying to work me to death? You always 'pinpoint' the 'woman' deep inside me." 

"I still can't believe you're a real person," Atena deadpanned.

Hey! I know it was embarrassing!

But in the end, it's just "I'll do my best because I want to be popular!"

"Still. Just 'wanting' to help isn't enough."

As I was brooding, Shouko-san started tapping her tablet.

(Not for karaoke, obviously.)

"Kambe family. Kambe. I see. I didn't recognize the name. A minor barony. promoted from a small-time local 'lord'."

A smirk crossed Shouko-san's face.

"Yes. I have it. Against this opponent, the optimal solution is: 'Do not attend the party.' And: 'Ensure they never involve themselves with the Akashi family or Kashiwagi-sama again.' Does that sound acceptable?" 

"Uh, yeah, that sounds 'great' if you can actually do it!"

That's why we're here.

"Fufu. Leave it to me. With just one phone call and your signature on a few documents, I can 'commit to results'!" 

"What is this, a shady loan-shark sales pitch? 'But it's expensive, right?'" 

"On the contrary. It comes with 'division of assets'."

That's not just "shady," that's terrifying!

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