Overloaded With Attributes Chapter 33

A Cousin of Noble Birth 

And so, Shouko-san began her presentation, which had the same high-pressure energy as one of those "high-quality feather-bed" scams for old people.

"First. Kashiwagi-sama, you, will, you will, b-b-become, engaged, to m-me."

What's with this sudden climax?!

"Um, that's so abrupt I have no idea what's going on." 

"Th-This is, yes! This is purely a 'fake' engagement! Of course, if you are not satisfied, there's a 'cooling-off period,' no, you can 'break the engagement'! Break, break the engagement, be, 'thrown away' by you, sniff, uuu, d-don't throw me away..."

"I'm not one to talk, but isn't that woman a little too emotionally unstable?" Shizuka muttered. 

"You think? Maybe. But I like girls who are expressive!" 

"Yuu, you are a much 'bigger' person than I ever imagined." 

"(Tiara is also very expressive.)"

"Ahem. I will continue. My engagement to Kashiwagi-sama. This is to provide you with 'backing.' It's fine, it won't take any of your time. If you would just sign your name on the papers I've prepared. Ah, and your 'seal,' not a thumbprint, but your 'officially registered' one. You don't have one? I anticipated that and have prepared one for you." 

"Why does she have your official seal?" Atena whispered. 

"(Shouko, is a terrifying child.)" 

"Yes, that's perfect. Now, we just need to file this at the city office♪" 

"Um, I mean, I guess it's fine with me, but this is all part of the 'plan' to deal with the Kambe family, right?"

She's smiling, so it must be okay, but I feel incredibly guilty, like I'm tricking this unmarried older woman into a fake engagement.

"Yes, that's correct. Next, you will also be engaged to Akashi-san. Ah, that one, of course, is just for 'show.' An 'act.' A 'white lie.' A verbal agreement is all that's needed. Ah, but just in case that woman tries any 'forceful measures,' please sign this as well." 

"A 'verbal agreement' is not enough! And wait a minute. This paper is a completely different color from the one you just signed. That, that's a 'green paper' (a divorce form), isn't it?!" 

"It's fine. I got them both from the city office." 

"That's not 'fine' at all!"

I mean, I'm already living with Shouko-san, and I was already planning to properly propose once I had a stable income, so it's not a huge problem.

"But, getting engaged to Shizuka-san, who's still a minor, without talking to her parents. Isn't that bad?" 

"My husband. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.♡"

No sooner had I said it, Shizuka-san knelt on the floor, sat 'seiza'-style, and bowed deeply with her hands on the ground.

"O-Okay, well, it's just an 'act,' so I guess it's fine?" (Of course, I'd welcome a real engagement, too.)

Still, getting "married" two days after starting high school, it's just hard to process.

And, I mean, other than Shouko-san, none of us are even 'old enough to get married.'

"Well, in that case, maybe you should get engaged to me, too?" Atena offered. 

"(Tiara too. Verbally is fine. I'll just turn on my voice recorder.)" 

"Why are you doing this?!"

What is wrong with the girls in this world? Do they just propose to you with the same casualness as "Wanna hit the arcade?"

"Now then, I will contact my cousin. Please wait a moment." 

"Why your cousin?"

It seems that, just like Shizuka (Akashi family), Shouko (Nakatsukasa family) is also from a "branch" of a noble house.

~Shouko's Phone Call~

"Hello? Kazura?" 

'Oh, Shouko? It's rare for you to call me. Did you get fired from GENE?' 

"I am not a 'problem child' like you, so I don't 'get fired'! Fufu. actually, I. I'm getting married. Before you." 

'I don't cause that many problems. I don't think? Wait, what? Married? Shouko, I told you to just get a cat. Have you finally 'snapped' from being single? Or are you 'hallucinating' from taking too many 'pills'?' 

"How rude! It's not a 'hallucination,' or a 'delusion,' or an 'imaginary boyfriend'! He is a real, living man!" 

'Shouko, you're 'tired,' you're 'possessed'. Oh, wait. Is it 'that guy'? The 'leech' you were assigned to a while back?' 

"I said no! This is someone I. 'we.' 'understand each other.' 'we're in love'! He's not one of those 'broken personalities'! He's a 'proper man'!" 

'Be rational. A 'man' like that 'doesn't exist' in this world. And even if he 'did' he wouldn't with you...' 

"...With me what? This isn't going anywhere. Just believe me." 

'It's not going anywhere because 'nothing you're saying' is 'believable'. Fine. Let's 'assume' that you have a fiancé. What's he like?' 

"...'What's he like'? Fufu. he's 'a wonderful person'." 

'That 'is the least specific description' I have 'ever heard'. C'mon. Is he 'tall'? 'Muscular'?'How old' is he? He's not an 'old man,' is he?' 

"He's 'so wonderful' I 'can't put it into words'! Just 'understand' that! A-A-Age? W-Well, if you 'round up' 'you could say' 'we're about the same age'?" 

'Shouko. you didn't 'round up' 'from the 'tens' 'digit,' did you? C'mon. I won't be mad. 'How old is he'?' 

"...Fifteen." 

'Are you 'ethically' 'insane'?! Eh? 'Eleven years younger'?! How did you. I. I should 'quit' being an Explorer. and 're-enlist' in GENE. No, 'wait'. 'Shouko' 'I heard' you 'bought an apartment' 'recently'?' 

"Oh? Did I tell you about that, Kazura? Fufu. yes. In fact, we're already living together—" 

'I see. So 'that's' what this call is about. Shouko. I'll get you 'a good lawyer.' 'Turn yourself in'.' 

"...What 'exactly' are you 'talking about'?" 

'What do you 'mean'?! You 'kidnapped' and 'imprisoned' a 'minor,' didn't you?! You were 'planning' to 'cut off his limbs' and 'make him dependent' on you. How 'horrifying'...' 

"What do you think I am?! I didn't 'kidnap' him! This isn't a 'shotgun wedding'! I told you at the beginning! We 'fell in love' and 'got engaged'!"

---

"...Who is she talking to?" Shizuka asked. "Beats me."

We waited another ten minutes for her to finish.

"Honestly, she's so suspicious. Ah! Sorry to keep you waiting♪ Akashi-san. From now on, if they say anything to you, just tell them to 'talk to Takatsukasa.' That should be all." 

"That is not 'all'! That 'Takatsukasa' do you mean, the Duke Takatsukasa family?!" 

"Is there any other?" 

"If I 'falsely' use the name of 'a family that high up' my head will literally roll!" 

"Which is why I just got permission, didn't I? In fact, sometime today, the Takatsukasa family will be lodging a 'complaint' with the Kambe family. Something to the effect of: 'If you wish to invite our precious 'son-in-law,' you will contact us 'two months' in advance. Also, 'die'.'" 

"Dealing with the Takatsukasa family is 'several thousand times scarier' than dealing with Kambe!"

I don't really get it, but it seems she really did solve it with one phone call.

"Atena. I didn't actually do anything." 

"Having 'connections' that can help is 'part of your strength,' isn't it? So about my engagement..." 

"You can 'talk' about that 'after' you let me 'cop a feel'." 

"Yuu, have you 'felt up' Akashi-san?" 

"Do you really think Shizuka-san has 'anything to feel up'?" 

"I can hear both of you, you know."

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