Overloaded With Attributes Chapter 53

The Many Uses of Slime Lotion.

I really need her to parasitize—ahem—I mean, help me with monster slaying. But having her at my house is... a bit of a pain. That's Kazura-san for you.

No, it's not that I hate her or find her annoying, not really. But... I have a lot of things I need to keep hidden, you know?

"And so! My plan is to make her super uncomfortable by being lovey-dovey with Shouko-san right in front of her, so she voluntarily leaves!"

"We're... lovey-dovey?!" Shouko squeaked.

"Um... is that really something you should be discussing right in front of Kazura?" Kazura asked.

"Of course! A great man (in another world) once said, 'If you're going to talk trash, say it to their face'!"

"Why is 'not talking trash' not even an option here?"

"Well, honestly, I'm just using Kazura-san as an excuse to get all cuddly with Shouko-san."

"Cuddly now?! Not lovey-dovey?"

And so...

"Ba-ba-ba-BAAAM! Sliiiime Loooootion~♪"

"...Why did you pull that out in the most annoying way possible...? And here Kazura was imagining you'd just hold hands or something, so why that?"

I held up the Slime Lotion I'd pulled from my pocket.

"Th-That's not flirting! That's just... slimy!" Kazura-san yelled.

"S-S-S-Slimy..." Shouko stammered.

"Whoa, no! We're not doing anything indecent! This is purely medicinal... no, not that. It's... you know! For refreshment! Relaxation! That kind of thing!"

"That doesn't make it sound any less indecent..."

"No, no, no! There's a heaven-and-earth difference between 'lotion play' and a 'relaxing massage'!"

"Look... the moment a boy is the one doing it, there's no difference. It's indecent."

Is it? ...Maybe it is? But come on! I got 19 bottles of this stuff today! That's... practically begging to be used, right?! And the Appraisal said it has "Detox effects"! I just wanted to show my appreciation to Shouko-san, who's always so tired from taking care of me, by... rubbing her down from head to toe...

"Right! So, let's head to the bath—... huh? Shouko-san?"

"Shouko? She passed out the second you pulled out the lotion," Kazura-san said, deadpan. ...She has zero defense, this one.

"..." 

"..."

...Well, crap. What do I do now?! This is way too awkward, being alone with my fiancée's relative. And I'm holding two bottles of lotion. This is 100% that NTR scenario, where the boyfriend's friend fools around while the boyfriend is asleep!

"Um... if you're... up for it... Kazura-san?"

"Kazura... Kazura wouldn't... Kazura m-m-mean... sh-should we...?" ...Make up your mind.

---

And so, the following Monday. ...Lotion play? What's that? Never heard of it. No, seriously, after that, Kazura-san puffed up like a "Knight about to lose to a tentacle monster." 

"K-K-Kazura would never do such a thing with her cousin's fiancé!"

Then, blushing bright red, she grabbed my hand to drag me to the bath—just as Shouko woke up. A vicious "catfight" (in the literal, cat-pajama sense) broke out. ...In other words, we got a little sidetracked.

I figured that would be enough to make Kazura leave, so... all's well that ends well, right? Wrong. This is a Level-Max Explorer we're talking about. Her mental fortitude is as high as her physical strength. She's still lounging around my house like nothing happened.

I've given up on getting her to leave. But then on Saturday, she crashed my new song release on the Tiaranran Channel. She demanded to sing and started her own karaoke session. Then on Sunday, when I went out with Atena... on a d-... a shopping trip... she followed us on her bike. She's not just a free spirit; she's a public nuisance.

What is her deal? Is she just starved for attention? Or is she as obsessed with "that" (the lotion) as I am? ...Too bad for her, Shouko has it all under lock and key. I'll have to farm more from the slimes. ...Are high-level Explorers just... really bored?

...I'm off topic again. It's Monday. Time for another fun-filled day of Dungeon Class!

Hm? What about the other school days? You don't need to see that. It's just normal class. Besides, I haven't been to school in ten years. I'm struggling just to keep up...

Anyway, something changed today. My "bus lap pillow privilege" is now decided by... a lottery. ...And for some reason, Akiyoshi, our resident CPL (Crazy Psycho Lesbian), is participating. I wondered why, until I heard her mutter,

"Fufu... I can resell the winning ticket!"

—Yep. Akiyoshi is gonna Akiyoshi.

So, we all got geared up and met at the dungeon gate.

"I'm coming with you today," Atena declared.

"Of course, I'm going too," Shizuka added.

"Oh? Kazura doesn't care either way, but... are you two over your mana sickness?" Kazura said, stepping up. 

"It's true this man—Yuugiri—isn't like the others. He won't treat you like trash. But he's not stupid enough to coddle a woman who's just dragging him down. You should know that without me telling you. Think about it. If you were in his position, how would you feel?"

"Hey! Talk about blunt!... but she's not wrong..." "And stop acting like you know me so well! We've only known each other a few days!"

Atena and the others, having been verbally dismantled by Kazura's logic-attack, muttered in defeat.

"...On second thought, we'll stay back."

They looked dejected as they entered the dungeon... or so I thought.

"Are... are they doing push-ups?" I asked.

"Fufu, Kazura thought they'd just pout... they've got guts. They're working hard for you, Yuugiri. You'd better treasure them," Kazura said. ...Did Kazura-san just say something normal and supportive?!

"...Like Kazura-san said, I've never treated them badly." ...Except Akiyoshi. "Still... can you really cure mana sickness with muscle training?"

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