Fellow Losers Extra Chapter

 

Unplanned Date

"This should be fine... really, this should be fine, right?"

I had been struggling in front of the full-length mirror for almost an hour.

The reason was to pick out an outfit for our date──.

"...Hehe. I didn't expect to be this excited. Even I find it funny."

Feeling somewhat embarrassed, I couldn't help but mutter to myself. But even so, the majority of my mind was still constantly agonizing over how to coordinate my clothes.

I'm not the flashy type, so should I try an elegant coordination here, or should I try this girlish, fluffy, and cute outfit that Mom excitedly bought for me──.

"...No, this really doesn't suit me."

A person who seemed perfectly suited for this style of clothing floated into my mind. Moreover, the person I was going to see next had spent far more time with that girl than with me.

It's not like I'm trying to compete... but deliberately fighting in that arena is just frustrating.

"Then again, my makeup is already all done, so it's too late to change it now."

Although I'm often misunderstood, it's not like I'm completely uninterested in fashion or makeup. While I can't say I'm particularly obsessed... I'm at least at the level of a normal person.

"Well, not that I have enough friends to warrant saying 'often misunderstood'... Alright, I've decided to go with this one for today."

What I heard more often was actually the gossip behind my back. "Mamiya probably has no interest in these kinds of things anyway," the girls at the top of the social hierarchy, passing around fashion magazines, would always say pointedly.

It's true that I don't wear makeup to school, nor do I dye my hair. Spending all my free time reading and studying, I probably seem very boring in their eyes.

"However, no matter how hard I try, my oh-so-important fiancé wouldn't praise me anyway, so their perspective isn't exactly wrong."

............I suddenly felt anxious. As expected, maybe it would be better to try out a few more options.

The person I was going to see next was someone special to me.

We had coincidentally encountered similar troubles, and so we formed a contract. A contract to become fake boyfriend and girlfriend, one that even made me think, "What am I even saying?"

But for both of us—especially for him, it was a necessary move to keep our hearts from breaking, even if it was fake. I couldn't just leave him be.

...I was supposed to think that way, but now I realized that I was the one more engrossed in this relationship.

The day the midterm exams ended, the distance between his heart and mine closed a little more. That's how I felt, and this accumulation was delightful... Just after parting with him, I was already fidgeting, wanting to see him again.

Today was the first such day off after the exams ended.

We talked every day during lunch break at school, but we hadn't been able to spend time together after school lately, so this was a long-awaited opportunity to have a full block of time together.

Although it's a bit embarrassing to be overly pumped up, I am a proper girl too, after all. I want him to praise my carefully coordinated outfit—.

"...Ah, look at the time!"

I accidentally spent too much time getting ready. If I don't leave right now, I won't make it to the date in time!

I grabbed my bag and hurriedly rushed out of my room.

"I'm heading out!"

My parents were working on their day off today too. That nagging older brother of mine was living on his own.

In the empty house, my greeting echoed in vain.

However, my heart was bouncing with such unparalleled joy that I couldn't even bring myself to care about that.

◆

"Good morning, Mamiya-san—no, Sachika."

Should I say "as expected"? He—Amou—was already waiting at the meeting spot ahead of time.

I arrived almost exactly on time... Given his personality, he had probably been waiting for much longer.

"Sorry, I'm late."

"It's fine, you're right on time."

Smiling as usual, his gaze quickly swept over me from top to bottom—.

"That dress suits you perfectly. You look very cute, Sachika."

"!!"

He said it looking completely nonchalant, as if stating the obvious.

Even though he used to react with more surprise before... Somehow, it's a bit frustrating.

Perhaps sensing my mood, Amou's eyes suddenly widened.

"S-Sorry! Just now, did I get carried away again...!?"

"Yeah. Yellow card—"

"Eek."

"...Well, I'll let you off this time. Since you were praising me, after all."

Feeling my cheeks grow slightly hot, I cleared my throat.

I knew in my heart. It wasn't his fault. This was my 100% pure, unadulterated attempt to hide my embarrassment.

Well, I was definitely anticipating it a bit. Thinking that if it was him, he would surely praise me.

I had even vaguely set that as my goal for today... although it was achieved with utmost ease.

"You look really well put-together too, Amou."

"R-Really? Thanks."

Amou scratched his cheek, looking a bit embarrassed.

Among boys, he belonged to the slightly shorter type. If evaluating solely on appearance, the word 'cute' would be much more fitting for him... though I wouldn't go out of my way to say it out loud.

For me, speaking of men around me, that would be my fiancé, Souichi Shibaki. He is tall and solidly built; if you applied worldly standards of masculinity, you could probably say he was superior.

However, taking a step back to think about it—just how necessary was that kind of masculinity for me?

Was it strength, after all? Some kind of powerful force that could protect me from enemies?

But... Amou stepped forward to confront Souichi, who was much larger than him and the source of his trauma. Just to protect me.

His back at that time looked incredibly reliable, incredibly large—.

"...Sachika? W-What's wrong? Is there something on my face?"

Amou's confused voice snapped me out of my daze.

I had accidentally gotten lost in my thoughts. During that time, I had been staring intently at his face, which seemed to have made him uneasy.

"It's nothing. Just thinking about something for a bit."

"I-Is that so?"

"Well then, let's go."

"Ah, yeah."

I pushed the conversation forward before showing any openings.

The purpose of our outing today—no, our date—had no specific itinerary.

Considering how we were ruthlessly mocked by my brother on the day midterm exams ended, we decided to simply not make any plans and just wander around aimlessly.

—"For real couples, isn't just being together happy enough?"

Although being led by the nose by my brother's provocative words was a bit annoying, I somehow felt that if I was with Amou, it would be fine.

However, both Amou and I were the type who preferred to properly make plans before acting in situations like this. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say we were thrown into an away game.

"...Amou, is there anywhere you want to go?"

I immediately asked a casual question, as lightly as if talking about the weather.

"Eh?" Amou looked my way.

"It's not that I don't have anywhere in mind, but does that still count as being 'unplanned'?"

"Right... If, in the process of wandering around, we happen to coincidentally arrive at the place you wanted to go, I suppose that could barely pass as 'unplanned'."

"Eh..."

"So, even if you nonchalantly start walking in the direction of that destination, Amou, I'll pretend not to notice."

That was obviously a poor excuse. Even I almost burst out laughing.

Still, I didn't know where Amou wanted to go, and Amou guiding me casually like that probably wouldn't count as breaking the rules—more like finding a loophole.

"...Yeah, that could work. But don't you have anywhere you want to go, Sachika? Prioritizing my side..."

"There isn't anywhere in particular I want to go. Or rather, it'd be more accurate to say I've been deliberately trying not to think about it. Because knowing me, I'd definitely guide us there much more blatantly, and my mind would be completely occupied by it."

I know myself that I'm not very flexible. I'm too serious.

It's just that I told one single lie.

(Of course there's a place I want to go.)

While saying this to him in my heart, I kept it unsaid out loud.

Because, if I were to say this out loud... This is another bad habit of mine.

I'd feel embarrassed. Simply stating it honestly.

◆

Letting Amou take the lead slightly, we walked truly without a destination.

It was just about time for lunch, so I stopped in front of a lunch menu sign we spotted and struck up a conversation on a whim.

This felt surprisingly nice.

There's a common question that goes, "What would you bring to a deserted island?"

Answers vary from person to person, but I'm the type who would rank "a map" quite high on the list. Wanting to make proper plans before taking action, not wanting to waste time, not wanting to fail... I understand that I have this kind of mindset.

But perhaps it's not just that.

There was nothing particularly special about the time I spent walking with Amou. If you were to write it into a story, there really would be nothing to tell. We just chatted casually, using whatever caught our eyes as topics.

What I learned was that Amou prefers fish over meat. He isn't averse to vegetables, but he seems to hate aromatic herbs like cilantro.

When I feigned a slight interest in a specialty cilantro restaurant, his cheek-twitching expression was so cute that whatever tiny bit of guilt I felt for teasing him completely vanished.

Every time I learned a little more about him like this, whether by chance or by feeling things out, I felt a sense of joy and accomplishment.

Rather than walking while looking at a map, it felt like I was personally marking down spots on a pure white map.

I want to know more. But I don't want to rush. I want to fill it in slowly, carefully, with my own two feet.

(I wonder if Amou feels the same way?)

Just as I was learning about him, he was also learning about me.

Dietary preferences were like that, and maybe other aspects were too... As expected, it was embarrassing, but I didn't hate it.

I used to have a fiancé... or rather, I still do, but we had never spent time together like this.

Truly, everything was something I was learning for the first time.

"Sachika?"

Unintentionally, I grabbed his hand.

It wasn't thick or rugged. It was a soft palm with a delicate touch.

"It's not weird, right? Because I'm your girlfriend."

"Y-Yeah... That's true."

His cheeks flushed slightly.

His sense of boundaries is clearly a mess; sometimes he holds my hand as if it's the most natural thing in the world, yet he seems to get nervous when I'm the one holding his. I... actually mustered up quite a bit of courage to take the initiative to hold it.

"It's about time we decide which restaurant to go to. Just staring at the menus is making me really hungry."

"Yeah. But if we're talking about places that are easy for high schoolers to go into..."

Taking our wallet situations into consideration, as well as how comfortable it would be once inside, the options naturally narrowed themselves down.

Exchanging our opinions, we ultimately decided to go to a typical family restaurant.

I ordered pasta, he ordered gratin, and we also ordered a pizza to share between us, along with a large plate of salad. My stomach isn't that big, but having walked all the way until now, I was indeed hungry.

Conversely, since Amou is a boy, I thought it wouldn't be enough for him──.

"If it's not enough, we can order more, you know?"

"Hehe, saying that makes you sound a bit like a mom."

"Does it? Well, usually to a hardworking dad──"

Mid-sentence, I suddenly startled.

Amou said my way of speaking carried the tone of a mother speaking to her child.

But I just referred to Amou as a dad... which means, as a mom, I would be with──.

"Ugh..."

Even though there was no need to, I started imagining it. Imagining what it would be like if he and I had that kind of relationship.

With a glance, I saw that Amou had also awkwardly averted his gaze. His ears were red too.

"...T-Then should I order something else?"

"Y-Yeah, you should."

I played along with Amou's words as he tried to forcefully reset the topic.

I nodded, staring blankly at his back as he looked at the menu, and thought to myself.

When I was with Souichi, I couldn't imagine a future with him at all, but with Amou, I can imagine it so easily.

◇

After lunch ended, our next stop was the stationery store right across from the family restaurant.

From the subtle stiffness in Amou's "Should we go in and take a look?", I realized that this was Amou's destination. If you observed carefully, he was actually quite easy to read.

Led by him, we walked toward the mechanical pencil section.

"Are you looking for a mechanical pencil?"

"Eh? Ah... was it that obvious...?"

Amou dropped his shoulders with a wry smile.

"I've been using the same one since middle school."

"Ah, that bulky one."

"It's technically a normal size."

The mechanical pencil he uses always seemed a bit thick.

Thinking back on it, that style seemed to have been popular among boys in middle school. Thinking that Amou actually followed trends too, I naturally found him a bit cute again.

"You see, we studied together before, right? When I saw the mechanical pencil you were using, Sachika, I thought it looked so cool."

"Really? I think it's pretty ordinary."

"It's probably because you yourself are cool, Sachika."

Alright, yellow card.

"My goal is to transfer into the Advanced class. To psych myself up, I thought buying a new one wouldn't be a bad idea."

............I'll take back that yellow card.

To think you took that day's sudden whim, a desire that accidentally slipped out, so seriously to heart. I felt my heart clench tightly... I was about to completely melt.

"...I see. Then let me help you pick one."

"Eh?"

"Won't that give you even more motivation?"

Although I couldn't help but get carried away and say something like that, Amou nodded with a serious face and said, "It really would."

"Actually, I was thinking of replacing my pencil case while I'm at it──"

"That's perfect. Let's get a matching set."

Somehow, I started feeling really happy.

Realizing that I was feeling a bit lightheaded, I proposed.

"Since it's a rare opportunity, I'll do the same. I'll use the same ones as you."

"Eh!?"

"It's fine, isn't it? We're in different classes, so no one will notice."

That sort of thing didn't matter either way.

What was important was that Amou and I would be using the same pencil case, the same mechanical pencil—a visible connection.

Studying is lonely. When facing a desk alone, one occasionally feels a sudden emptiness.

But if I could feel Amou's presence even at times like those... I would feel reassured.

Up until now, I had never had such a thought.

Ever since meeting Amou and spending time together, I had been constantly made aware of my own weakness.

"...As long as it's not forcing you, Sachika, I'd like to do that too."

"Then it's settled."

He nodded, putting aside his own comment about being considerate of my financial situation.

"In that case, my initial proposal of picking one out for you is canceled. If we're buying the same ones, we should pick them out together."

"A-Alright. But please don't have too high expectations for my taste..."

"The feeling is mutual."

After all, the pen and pencil case I'm currently using are both hand-me-downs from my older brother.

I'm the same in the sense that I'm not too particular about everyday stationery. However, if it's something chosen together with Amou, I will definitely cherish it.

"Then... how about this one? It feels like it suits you, Sachika."

What Amou picked up was a pen with a rather hefty price tag for a mechanical pencil.

The design was simple. But it didn't look cheap; the elegant black created a formal atmosphere.

Although it felt a bit too mature, if Amou said it suited me, I'd be very happy.

"Amou, try writing something with it."

I had him write something on the memo pad meant for testing pens.

What I wanted to see was how he looked while writing.

"...How is it?"

"Yeah, it matches your serious aura. It looks very cool."

"Ugh!? T-Thanks..."

He was unconsciously flustered by my blurted-out praise.

Perhaps I'm the one who should be shown a yellow card for this... No, it should be fine. After all, Amou just now was genuinely cool.

"Then it's decided. Two thousand yen... yeah, that's about right."

"Y-Yeah."

Even though he picked it himself, he looked as if he only just noticed the price. Still, for something that would be used long-term, it probably wasn't too expensive.

Besides, if it's a bit on the pricier side, he might cherish it even more. Harboring such a little calculation, I put the two mechanical pencils into the shopping basket. Alright, purchase confirmed.

"Next is the pencil case."

I really couldn't bring myself to say "Anything that can hold pens is fine for a pencil case" after buying such proper mechanical pencils.

Although I had no one to show off to, if it was for Amou to use, that was all the more reason.

"Hmm..."

Perhaps thinking the same thing, Amou rested his chin in his hand, seriously agonizing over it.

I also agonized over it for a bit, and relying on my intuition, I picked out something similar to what Amou had chosen just now, something that felt suited for him to carry—something that would make Amou happy to hold.

"How about this one?"

The selected pencil case was black, just like the mechanical pencil. Although it had a somewhat weighty feel, it wouldn't easily show dirt and was suitable for long-term use.

The material was leather. It had a considerable premium feel, and the price was reasonable.

It was something that wouldn't look strange for a high school student to carry, at most looking slightly mature for our age.

"Heh... That's pretty cool."

It seemed Amou liked it quite a bit too.

As for the price... it was slightly cheaper than the mechanical pencil. Yeah, this should be fine.

"Are you okay with it?"

"Yeah, I broke into my New Year's money."

When I asked just in case, Amou replied with a smile.

It seemed he came today with considerable preparation and resolve.

At the same time, it meant that he was aiming to enter the Advanced class with me next year—

"Hehe."

"What's wrong, Sachika?"

"Nothing... I just felt like letting you off without a yellow card today."

"Did I do something again!?"

Ahh, he's really too unfair.

Because he mercilessly struck right at my weak point like that... If you don't call this a foul, what else could you possibly call it?

◇

Having smoothly completed Amou's mission, we returned once again to our unplanned state.

Even so, I didn't feel bored at all. I found myself taking an interest in things I had been familiar with up until now, things I probably wouldn't have even paid attention to if I were alone.

Sometimes we held hands, sometimes we didn't. Sometimes our shoulders touched, sometimes they didn't.

Sometimes it made my heart race, and probably, sometimes it made his heart race too?

That kind of time was incredibly comfortable... Before I knew it, my steps had become light and bouncy.

Incidentally, my purse strings loosened as well.

"Sachika, what did you buy?"

Looking at the paper bag I had just received, Amou asked with interest.

It was a product that caught my eye by chance at the drugstore we dropped by. I wouldn't normally pick it up, but for some reason today, I felt like buying it to try.

"It's lip balm."

What I bought was lip balm. Although I usually use it for moisturizing, this one was a bit different from those; it seemed to be scented.

Tinted ones can't be brought to school (not in terms of school rules, but as a matter of my personal principles. Though there are girls who do bring them), but a scent was still within my permissible range.

"Eh, scented... What kind of scent is it?"

At my explanation, Amou pressed further with interest.

Just as I was about to answer him—a mischievous idea suddenly came to me.

"Wait a moment."

Informing him of this, I turned my back to him.

Then I opened the paper bag I had just sealed, tore off the packaging of the lip balm, lightly applied it to my lips... and turned back around.

"How is it?"

"...Uh?"

Amou tilted his head in confusion.

Well, since there's no color, he wouldn't be able to tell by looking. I did apply lip gloss this morning too... though I figured most of it had probably worn off while we were hanging out.

However, the crucial point was the scent. Yes, I had indeed only applied a light layer, but the fragrance wafted over distinctly.

"Here, go ahead."

Standing right in front of him, I puckered my lips.

"Eh!?"

Amou's eyes widened in bewilderment.

If you want to know the scent of the lip balm, smelling it is the fastest way.

So I wasn't doing anything wrong... While this superficial excuse surfaced in my mind, my cheeks naturally relaxed into a smile.

Amou's face gradually turned red, and unable to bear it, he shyly averted his face.

"Oh my, aren't you going to?"

I won. Seeing the exact reaction I had expected, I couldn't help but chuckle as I pressed the attack.

Amou's gaze wandered in distress──.

"...You're way too defenseless."

He said, as if squeezing the words out.

The faint protest contained within was probably out of concern for me.

After all, bringing your lips close so someone can smell the lip balm you just applied──that looks exactly like you're asking for a kiss, doesn't it?

"I, for one, trust you, Amou."

"That's quite a heavy trust... I am a guy too, you know."

Hearing my honest words, Amou's shoulders slumped slightly.

It wasn't that I felt he lacked masculinity or anything. Rather, it was the exact opposite.

But our relationship as lovers... was ultimately different from that of ordinary lovers.

In the end, it was just a contract. Something to patch up each other's wounds, and if either of us found someone of the opposite sex we liked, it would probably be annulled.

Therefore, even if we held hands, linked arms, and smiled at each other, we wouldn't progress beyond that step.

It was precisely because I firmly believed this that............ huh?

(Somehow, there's a contradiction.)

I thought there was no risk, which is why I teased him.

Making a gesture like asking for a kiss, yet assuming he would absolutely never accept it....

(...No.)

Such a guarantee didn't exist at all.

At the end of the day, even though we called it a contractual relationship, there were no perfectly stipulated rules or penalty clauses prepared to govern it.

If Amou wanted to... d-do that kind of thing with me, as long as he took one step forward, my lips would easily be taken.

If that happened, I would be angry at him... No, I wouldn't.

I was the one who provoked him in the first place, and besides, it wasn't as if I hadn't completely imagined a future where we did that kind of thing──.

"Ah..."

I realized it. I finally realized it.

My actions just now truly carried no risk for me.

It was simple.

Because in my heart, I felt that even if Amou kissed me, it would be fine.

I might only just be realizing it now. But I had been prepared to accept it for a long time──.

"...!!"

My cheeks instantly burned hot.

My relationship with him is a contract. A relationship that will be annulled one day.

I was supposed to be able to accept it simply like that, I was supposed to understand it clearly, but in reality, I...!?

"N-No. That's not it...!"

Amou looked at me with a half-closed, exasperated expression as I became visibly shaken from realizing that the distance between my heart and his had closed far more than I could have ever imagined.

"Did you really only just notice?"

No I didn't, you dense blockhead!

Amou definitely, leisurely assumed, "She only just realized that when she made the gesture for me to smell the lip balm, she looked like she was waiting for a kiss."

That's not it. I knew that from the very beginning. What I didn't realize was....

"~~~~~~!!"

Ah, but how could I possibly say that out loud!

That kind of thing, that kind of... Even if it was a spur-of-the-moment impulse, to actually want to turn our lie into the truth, that kind of thing... Even though my engagement hasn't even been broken off yet...!!

"A-About what just happened! Come on, let's go!"

I forcefully ended the conversation, grabbed his hand, and started walking away.

My face was burning so much I felt like it was going to explode.

Of course, things couldn't just pass that easily, but Amou had perfectly misunderstood, merely offering a helpless, wry smile.

I pouted and started walking aimlessly again, unconsciously intertwining my fingers with his──.

I was certain that every time I smelled this vanilla scent, I would recall this burning heat.

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