Overloaded With Attributes Chapter 34
Ranman Douga
The day after our discussion, which left me feeling kinda weird and which I’m still not sure will even work.
"Yuugiri-kun, just as you planned, I received a formal apology from the Kambe family. They said they wanted to apologize to you directly, but just as Nakatsukasa-san (Shouko) suggested, I told them to 'go through the Takatsukasa family.' A moment later, I received a video on my phone of Akirako—the Kambe daughter—prostrating herself naked and begging for forgiveness through her tears."
"..."
"(stare)"
What kind of niche-fetish AV is that? Quick, forward it to my phone—
"Of course, I would never allow such a filthy thing to enter your field of vision, so I deleted it immediately."
"Ah. right."
"..."
"(stare)"
She deleted it. She actually deleted it.
"Also, um, I told my mother about you. She wants to thank you, and she was wondering if you’d join us for dinner sometime? You’re busy, I know, so, of course, it’s fine if you say no."
"W-Well. greetings. yeah. maybe sometime soon."
"..."
"(stare)"
"This whole incident, I really am so grateful to you. And to Nakatsukasa-san. I don't think there's much I can do to repay you, but when the practical training starts, I’ll do my best to be Yuugiri-kun’s meat shield. Of course, I’m also willing to be a meat futon, or a meat slave, whatever you request."
"Could you please stop saying things that sound horrible in the middle of a crowded classroom?"
"..."
"(stare)"
What is this? Are you trying to get me socially executed?
Half the room is giving me "look-at-that-garbage" glares, and the other half are bright red, clutching their lower stomachs and squirming. What is this terrifying group?!
And, on top of that, Atena has been pouting and staring at me all morning, which is super annoying.
I thought you were the self-proclaimed easy-going one!
See?! When you act weird, the little one (Tiara-chan) starts to copy you!
"(Uuu. I'm trying so hard and Yuu-kun still won’t talk to me.)"
"Oh, that’s what you were doing? I thought you were doing an impression of an out-of-season cicada."
"(I'm not Eris. Tiara doesn't do weird things like that.)"
I think Tiara-chan is plenty weird on her own. And who the hell is Eris?
"So, what’s up, Tiara-chan? Unfortunately, I'm a Kansai-Onii-san, so I don't have any chocolate or candy on me."
"(??? Does that mean Kanto-Onii-sans carry snacks?)"
No, that's Kansai-Oba-chans (old ladies) who, wait. Don't, don't "wild Oba-chans" in this world hand out candy?!
"(Yuu-kun is weird, as always. So, let’s make a video together.)"
"Another total non-sequitur. Wait, you do that, Tiara-chan?"
At my words, Tiara-chan puffed out her chest plank proudly.
"(Fufun. I started in first year of middle school. In three years, my subscriber count is...)"
"Is...?"
"(Eight.)"
"That's it?!"
"(And six of them are Tiara's sub-accounts.)"
"That's not just the majority, that's all of them!"
"(I also write all the encouraging comments myself.)"
"What, what motivation, what straight face, what kind of comments are you writing?! At this point, I'm dying to know who the other two are."
"(One is Mom. The other is Eris.)"
WHO THE HELL IS ERIS?!
"I mean, if I join you, I can only see a future where I also get horribly burned."
"(It's fine. Just having a boy in the video will guarantee millions of views.)"
I did watch a fair bit of video sites while I was cooped up at home. And, yeah, there really weren’t any male posters.
"(And if you join now, I’ll promote Yuu-kun on Tiara’s channel.)"
Your channel with two real subscribers?! Who are family?! What kind of promotion is that?! Not that I need promoting!
"Hmm. I’ll think about it. Let me watch your channel first. Then I’ll decide."
"(Fufu. once you watch Yuu-kun will be Tiara's captive.)"
"If one watch was enough to captivate people, wouldn't you have more subscribers?"
I can't say that. Because, if she said that to me, I would definitely cry.
"...Kudo-san. Are those two talking right now?"
"They’re supposed to be. But, as usual, it just looks like Yuu is talking to himself or doing a one-man show."
I'M NOT THAT LONELY!
I didn't promise, but Tiara-chan just kept staring at me with sparkly eyes all day. So, I opened the video site she told me about, "Ranman Douga" (Flowering Videos), and found her channel.
On the screen was Tiara-chan, in her normal clothes, and what is that? A small desk with a ton of colorful buttons and volume knobs?
"(Thank you for watching TiaRanRanRan Channel today.)"
That is a shockingly lame channel name.
"(Okay, right away I'm going to play a new song that a listener requested.)"
No, wait! That's too fast! Don’t you need like an intro? Some banter? And "listener"? You mean you, on your sub-account, right? We're five seconds in and the second-hand embarrassment is making me want to cry.
Oh. That "desk" was an "instrument."
"...Wait. she's really good."
Just like at karaoke, she's a good singer. And her looks should be a huge hit with a certain demographic. So, why is she so unpopular?
I mean, her videos have 15 views, max. And she’s uploaded nearly 500 videos in three years?! No, seriously, what is your motivation?!
I. I'm in awe of my classmate's (loli's) Orichalcum-grade mental fortitude.
"I just don't know what emotion I'm supposed to feel watching Hiesu-san play an instrument with a blank face in total silence."
"OAH?! What, you’re watching too? And don't watch from over my shoulder, use your own phone!"
And she's not silent! She is singing!
"...It's Atena. Or is that it? Does Kashiwagi-kun just call every girl who isn't his fiancée 'you'?"
God, she is so annoying today.
"Hmm. that intro part. it needs to be more chika-CHOON."
"(Like this?)"
"A little off. Not that, more chu-chu-CHOON."
"(Like this...)"
"Closer, but more chika-chu-CHOON?"
"(You're saying something different every time...)"
Hm? What am I doing?
Well, I sang "Love Story, Suddenly!" a capella, right? Tiara-chan is composing music for it, and we're arranging it.
Is it "plagiarism"? Well, "be-cause" and "Kazumasu Oda" don't exist in this Japan.
I don't really care about video sites. But Tiara-chan just kept asking with her weaponized cuteness. It's not fair! When a little kid looks all sad it's not fair! How is an old-man-on-the-inside supposed to say no to that?!
(I am aware that I did the same thing to get out of the karaoke bill.)
So, just as a "trial," we agreed to film one video. Of course, I don't have the social skills to banter.
"(If you can't talk sing.)" was Tiara’s suggestion.
"Wow, Hiesu-san, you're really talented at a lot of things."
"Hmph. I can play the violin, you know."
"Well, I can play the piano."
"Heh. Amateurs. I can play humans."
"Why did you just say something so terrifying?! That word has a very different meaning!"
And, of course, everyone ended up joining in.
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