Fellow Losers Chapter 2

 

Fake Romance

The next morning, carrying a slight pain in my throat, I dragged my heavy feet to school. Naturally, Karen was not by my side.

Since entering high school, even though we often went our separate ways after school, we always walked to school together. For this routine to be broken for the first time... even after what happened, I still felt a pang of loneliness.

Sigh...

I couldn't help but let out a deep sigh. To be honest, I didn't even want to go to school.

If I actually ran into Karen, I couldn't predict at all what I would do or how I would act.

"I wonder if Mamiya is doing okay..."

I rubbed the phone in my pocket with my fingers while recalling last night's conversation.

"You don't need to worry about that."

On the train ride back from the beach, we exchanged contact info.

Sure enough, both of our phones had several missed call records. However, there were absolutely no concrete apologies via text or anything, so Mamiya just brushed it off, saying, "Maybe they don't want to leave any evidence?" and didn't seem to want to dwell on it.

But I still couldn't help but care about various things... That night, I consulted Mamiya, asking, "What kind of face should I make when I see Karen tomorrow?", and that was the answer she gave me.

"No matter what she says, just reply that you're not in the mood right now."

"But, wouldn't some people say I should at least hear out her excuses?"

"Who would say that?"

"...My inner voice of reason, maybe?"

"Well, I guess I can't say I don't understand."

The so-called "correct reasoning" always seems to pop up from out of nowhere to irresponsibly batter reality.

The Karen I knew wasn't the kind of girl who would do such a thing. If so, there must be a reason. It's wrong to get unilaterally angry and try to distance myself without even trying to understand. Or rather, maybe I'm the one who's wrong... These cold words crawled out from the depths of my mind, stinging me.

I knew perfectly well that I should face it properly...

"But, isn't this fine too? Just ignore that kind of thing."

Mamiya swiftly and decisively kicked away my worries.

"Saying you should hear them out or that there must be a reason, those are just arguments that benefit the betrayers, aren't they? There's no need to follow that kind of logic. What's important is what you want to do, Watanuki-kun."

Even though it was a text exchange, precisely because of that, it was conveyed directly.

Her forceful defense was incredibly encouraging to me right now.

"First, maybe you should take a step forward here and muster your courage to try."

"Isn't it fine?"

After the stiff words, she sent a cute character sticker.

How should I put it... that choice, and the thoughtfulness of sending a sticker, took me a little by surprise, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Hehe."

Walking along and inevitably chuckling as I recalled these events, my field of vision mysteriously felt clearer.

Like noticing a certain shop used to be there, or a cat sleeping by the roadside that I felt I had seen before.

Previously, I was giving it my all just to talk to Karen... No, maybe I was just inexplicably over-eager in trying to get her attention. Either way, I don't think I had the luxury to take in scenery like this before.

"Let's not go to school together for a while. I also don't want you to talk to me at school."

Last night, I sent that message to Karen. I was a bit nervous when I pressed send, but after sending it, things felt surprisingly clear-cut.

"I understand. I'll wait until you've calmed down, Akkun."

Karen replied with that message, and the text bombing completely stopped.

If there was a part of me that still felt unsettled, was it because, deep down, I was hoping she would cling to me more desperately? Or perhaps—.

Sigh...

Whenever I think about Karen, I end up sighing no matter what.

The feeling of walking alone at a leisurely pace to school—that sensation gradually faded, and I began to feel the sense of loss from her absence. The smiles she once showed me might have all been fake.

"I wonder how Mamiya is doing now..."

I couldn't help but think of Mamiya to escape from reality.

Mamiya was Shibaki's fiancée. But even so, she said they didn't live together and always went to school separately.

In that case, she probably wasn't feeling as emotionally complicated as I was right now...

"...Hm?"

Just as I was thinking about this, my phone suddenly vibrated.

Checking the notification... it was a message from Mamiya.

"Are you free after school today?"

"Of course."

I replied without thinking twice. The truth was, my schedule had been practically wiped clean and rewritten since yesterday, so I could fill it with whatever new plans I wanted.

"Then, let's go somewhere."

"Where is 'somewhere'?"

"That's for you to decide. I picked last time, so it's only fair that it's Watanuki-kun's turn to decide this time, right?"

"...Seriously?"

This was a demand of the "fake romance contract" between two fellow losers trying to heal each other's wounds!

I didn't expect the beach to just be part one... No, it was exactly as she said. She took me to the beach yesterday, so it was only natural that it was my turn to plan the next one.

"But, this is a problem... Where should we go? Where am I supposed to take her...!?"

Faced with this task that suddenly fell into my lap with a deadline of "after school," I couldn't help but hold my head in my hands.

Coincidentally, thanks to this, thoughts of Karen temporarily flew out of my mind. While desperately digging through my brain for potential date spots, I tentatively replied, "Understood."

◇

Then, after school arrived.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Mamiya..."

"No, not at all—by the way, are you okay? You look a bit pale."

"Ah, yeah... well, don't worry about it."

We met up in front of a convenience store a little ways from the school.

Mamiya was standing there with her usual perfect posture... but upon seeing me, she furrowed her brows in doubt.

"Could it be... did something happen with her?"

"No! It's nothing like what you're thinking, Mamiya!"

If my complexion was bad, this time Karen was the one thing that wasn't the cause.

The reason was... ultimately, because right up until the last second, I couldn't come up with a good date route.

I really thought hard about it. I even racked my brains during class! But almost all the places that came to mind were places I'd been to with Karen... It couldn't be helped. Up until now, whenever I thought about these things, it was always for Karen.

I'd feel resistant to taking Mamiya to those places, and I didn't want to do it myself.

That left my "inventory" with only places I hadn't been to with Karen (or places I never planned to go with her to begin with). But naturally, there was the question of whether those places were appropriate to take a girl...

"What? You aren't thinking about something indecent, are you?"

"Huh!?"

"That's a no-go. Even if we're trying out a fake romance, I have no intention of doing that kind of thing."

Mamiya stared at me leisurely with a checking gaze—what you'd call "dead fish eyes".

Her somewhat childish behavior almost distracted me for a moment, but I immediately shook my head in denial.

"I-I know that! Or rather, I wasn't thinking about anything like that at all!"

I never expected to be suspected in that direction!

True, Mamiya is a beauty. There are probably a lot of guys who admire her...

"Then, what were you just thinking about? You can tell me, right?"

"Ugh..."

"If you can't say it, does that mean..."

Her gaze sharpened even more. What I thought was a childish demeanor a second ago now felt like a sharp, murderous intent, and I instinctively straightened my back.

"I-I get it. I'll tell you. I'll tell you...!"

After all, the reason we got close was that. The person who should know best that I don't have the spare energy to entertain dirty thoughts is none other than you, Mamiya.

So, she probably just deliberately shook me up like this to coax my worries out of me... At least, that's what I thought. Even if I thought that, it was still terrifying and extremely bad for my heart.

And so, having extracted everything from me exactly as planned, Mamiya nodded with a serious expression.

"...I see. That was a complete blind spot for me. Since I didn't really go out and play with that man."

"I-Is that so."

That man... I decided to ignore that cold way of referring to him for now.

Although I didn't really understand the relationship of an engaged couple, even so, I couldn't help but wonder what they usually did together. Of course, I wasn't going to ask right now.

"You don't need to overthink it. Anywhere is fine... Ah, of course, except for suspicious places."

"You don't need to hammer that in!"

"If I say 'anywhere is fine,' wouldn't it be boring if you thought I was just saying that? Is there anywhere? A place you haven't been with Suzaki, or a place you never even thought of taking her to."

"A place I've never thought of taking her... The first thing that comes to mind is probably a ramen shop or something."

"...Ramen?"

"Well, I like ramen as much as any normal person and go eat it occasionally, but Karen wasn't very interested in it."

"...Right. It always feels like it's bad for your health and makes you gain weight easily."

"I think it depends on the shop."

Still, I definitely couldn't picture Mamiya eating ramen either.

As expected, ramen really isn't suitable for a date—.

"Ramen..."

"Mamiya?"

Mamiya started walking forward with an entranced expression.

Her steps were steady, but it felt like she was deep in thought...

"What's wrong? Even though we haven't decided where to go yet—"

"Golden broth, chewy noodles..."

"On the flip side, do you have anywhere you want to go? If you have any leads—"

"Juicy chashu pork, and finishing it off with ramen broth poured over rice..."

"...Could it be, you actually love ramen, Mamiya?"

"I've never eaten it once. I just know about it as knowledge."

S-She actually gave a clear answer regarding the ramen...!

Looking closely, a hint of drool was hanging from the corner of her mouth—ah, she wiped it away.

"......If you've never had it, do you want to try it?"

"Yes!"

"That was fast!?"

With sparkling eyes that completely contradicted her usual cool, mature vibe, Mamiya leaned forward and nodded vigorously.

Her overwhelming momentum made me involuntarily lean back—seeing my reaction, Mamiya's eyes went wide, and her cheeks flushed slightly as she deliberately cleared her throat.

"W-Well, I'm just saying that if there are no other candidates, it can't be helped. It's not like my goal is to trouble you. Honestly, taking someone to eat ramen for a first date is a bit too much of a typical guy's taste, isn't it? But since I'm so kind, I'll turn a blind eye to it."

"I-Is that so..."

Even though her face clearly said, "I want to go, I want to go, I want to go!"

"Then I'll shamelessly accept your kindness. Earlier, you mentioned golden broth, right? Are you most interested in that kind?"

"Uh-huh. Even though we're just discussing general knowledge, whether it's a golden, translucent, artistic broth or a thick, cloudy, wild, rich soup, they're both amazing. I'm also very interested in tsukemen and aburasoba... but for a beginner, wouldn't it be better to start with a simple, standard ramen? In that case, the choice of flavor is also crucial! Soy sauce, miso, tonkotsu, shio—and the base stock is also key; I hear seafood-based broths are becoming more popular too! Also, although chashu gives the basic impression of roasted pork, I coincidentally heard recently that more shops are doing chicken chashu too—"

"Stop! I get it! I completely understand your passion for ramen now, Mamiya!"

"It's not passion. I'm just speaking in generalities. My personal opinions aren't mixed in at all."

"No, your eyes are completely bloodshot and your breathing has gotten heavy."

"It's your imagination. Are you hallucinating? Are you feeling alright? Just eat some ramen today, get nice and warm, and get a good night's sleep."

"So we are eating ramen."

"Of course we're eating ramen."

This might have opened some forbidden door.

Even though she had never eaten ramen once, her passion for it was way too intense.

"But, I suppose you're right. For things like this, one shouldn't rely on general consensus, but rather on the knowledge of a senior. With a calm mind, going openly to a shop recommended by you, Watanuki-kun, is the best approach."

"No, the bar has been raised way too high now... By the way, since you're so interested in ramen—"

"I'm not interested. I just grasp it as general knowledge."

"There's really no need for this cover-up, is there?"

"I'm not covering anything up."

Mamiya puffed out her cheeks and turned her face away.

Although I didn't understand why she was so stubborn about it, she seemed to find it embarrassing to be thought of as someone interested in ramen.

"Well, well, framing it as knowledge is fine, but in that case, didn't you ever think about actually trying it to confirm the taste?"

"Is this conversation under the premise of general knowledge?"

"Yeah, yeah."

To be honest, I didn't really understand the difference between her so-called "general knowledge" and her actual thoughts, but I just nodded along for now.

"My family is quite strict. Things like junk food are forbidden."

"Heeeh..."

"...What's with that look, like you're looking at something rare?"

"No, I was just casually agreeing..."

"Well, but since I entered high school, they haven't been nagging me as much. My curfew was extended too."

"Then, there's actually no problem eating this now."

"As long as I don't get caught. But, I'm still a bit hesitant to go in alone... I don't know the rules or anything. There's something like 'disrupting the order' which is a breach of etiquette, right...?"

"Ah, yeah... that's only at certain shops."

She even thoroughly researched such deep-level knowledge...

However, knowing that kind of dark side, I could understand why she would feel scared to enter a ramen shop alone.

The first time I went, when asked, "Do you want garlic?", I replied "Yes," and they looked extremely confused. That actually became quite a trauma for me.

"Then, let's pick a less complicated shop... It's a bit of a walk, is that okay?"

"I could even run there!"

"Just how enthusiastic are you!?"

"I'm totally not floating on air because I can eat ramen sooner, and because I finally have the chance to taste that legendary food I've always dreamt of... Absolutely not. It's just that we had P.E. class today, so I'm a little hungrier than usual. Don't misunderstand!"

"I-Is that so..."

"So let's go! Hey, Watanuki-kun, lead the way! If we dawdle, the noodles will get soggy!"

"We haven't even ordered yet, so they won't get soggy..."

Urged on by the clearly overexcited Mamiya, I opened my phone to check if the ramen shop I had in mind was open.

For a high schooler in the going-home club to want to eat ramen on the way home, it's surprisingly not that simple.

The biggest hurdle is business hours. In this country called Japan, there is a ridiculous number of ramen shops, but many of them are independently run. Probably. Though I haven't actually checked.

And due to the nature of the restaurant business, their operating hours are mostly during lunch or dinner—during the late afternoon when we go home from school, many shops haven't opened yet.

Additionally, for various reasons, besides their regular days off, they might have temporary closures, or if they run out of broth during lunch, they might just close up shop for the day.

Also, although this was just my personal situation—if I happened to bump into an acquaintance while with Mamiya, I hadn't figured out how to explain our relationship. After all, I had already told a few friends that I was dating Karen... And even putting that aside, I didn't know if a "fake romance" was something normal people could accept.

So, places like bustling downtown areas, where it's easy to accidentally run into someone I know, were places I wanted to avoid.

The most fundamental premise was that this was the very first bowl for Mamiya, who had an extraordinary interest in ramen. As a self-proclaimed ramen lover, I really wanted to introduce her to a shop made with real dedication, dragging her deep into the ramen rabbit hole.

Furthermore, since she was a beginner, I had to find a shop where ordering didn't require chanting a "spell"—stacking all these conditions and filtering them down, there was only one shop left that fit the bill. No, looking at it the other way, the fact that there was a shop satisfying all these conditions was pretty good; should I say long live the ramen superpower?

"Ramen Fuji...! So this is the stage... for my first taste of ramen...!"

Twenty minutes on foot from the convenience store.

Looking up at the signboard hanging outside the shop we arrived at, Mamiya's eyes sparkled with an unprecedented light as she snapped a bunch of photos with her phone.

"Um, it's a ticket system here. Should I buy a ticket for you too, Mamiya?"

"No, I'll buy it myself!"

Like a kindergartener wanting to press the stop button on a bus, Mamiya hopped in place and ran over.

"Ah, right. Take a picture for me!"

"Eh? A picture of you buying a food ticket?"

She shoved her phone at me at the same time.

"Because it's my first time. It can't hurt to document everything, right!"

"I think it's a bit much... Alright, I'll take the picture, you just focus on buying."

"I'm counting on you!"

In the direction my camera was pointing, Mamiya operated the ticket machine.

But this shop only sold soy sauce ramen, so it wasn't complicated. As expected, she didn't look like it was her first time using a ticket machine; her movements were practiced.

"Noodles firm!"

"Okay, got it."

While I was buying my ticket, Mamiya declared this as she handed her ticket to the staff. Then, she turned back to me with a smug expression... it was an expression that practically screamed, "I'm a ramen connoisseur who even knows this kind of spell, you know?"

However, since Mamiya was the one who told me she had never eaten ramen, I felt that kind of showing off was completely pointless.

This Ramen Fuji only had about ten counter seats, and because it was an odd time—neither lunch nor dinner—we were the only customers.

However, during peak hours it would have long lines; it was a famous shop that had been featured in magazines multiple times. I had been here several times too, but normally even at this hour I'd never seen it completely empty of customers, which perhaps just went to show how lucky Mamiya was.

"Here, your water."

While Mamiya was restlessly looking around the shop, two glasses of water were served.

"Ah, so it's self-service! You... you're really something, Watanuki-kun...!"

"I didn't do anything."

Smiling wryly at her for being frustrated over even something like this, but also finding it amusing, we waited the few minutes for the ramen to be served—.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. Here is your soy sauce ramen."

"Ohh, this is my very first bowl of ramen...! Watanuki-kun, hurry, hurry! Before the noodles get soft!"

"Y-Yeah... Um, is it okay to take a picture?"

"Yes, go ahead."

After tentatively getting the staff's permission, Mamiya-san flashed a bright smile, showing her white teeth and making a V-sign in front of the ramen, and I snapped the picture. She looked incredibly innocent and radiant...!

Then, Mamiya-san snatched the phone out of my hand and, under the smiling gaze of the staff, hastily took a picture of just the ramen—.

"I'm digging in...!!"

Giving off a faint aura of tension, she finally picked up her chopsticks.

Seeing her treat it so solemnly, even I couldn't help but feel inexplicably nervous.

But if I kept staring, Mamiya-san would probably feel uncomfortable. Torn by curiosity, I turned towards my own bowl—but for some reason, Mamiya-san gently tapped my arm.

"This is quite a problem, Watanuki-kun."

"What's wrong?"

"When I try to lean down to eat the ramen, my hair falls forward..."

"Ah, yeah... I see. Excuse me, do you happen to have any hair clips?"

"Sorry, we don't lend those out here."

"I see."

I checked with the shop just in case. Although some shops apparently lend them out occasionally, this place was different. Since my hair is short, I had never paid attention to it...

"Ugh... if only I usually carried a hair tie or clip with me... It's my long-awaited ramen, and I really want to focus on eating it...!"

Mamiya groaned in frustration, her expression incredibly serious.

But what can't be helped, can't be helped, so this—

"...Watanuki-kun, your left hand is free, right?"

"Eh?"

"Hold my hair for me."

"...Huh?"

For a second, I didn't understand what she meant.

But before I could freeze up, Mamiya had already gathered her long hair in the back like a ponytail and turned towards me.

"Please."

"O-Okay."

Her words were far too serious, so I grabbed her hair as told.

The young female staff member let out an "Oh my" with an amused smile, while the rugged old shop owner muttered a "Ho" in admiration. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, I was so glad there were no other customers...!

"Now I can finally eat...! This time for real, I'm digging in...!!"

Having overcome all the preparations and obstacles, Mamiya finally brought the ramen to... her mouth!

"Oh, it's delicious...!! So this is... ramen...!?"

With flushed cheeks and a hint of tears at the corners of her eyes, Mamiya trembled with emotion.

How should I say it... although the situation was a bit weird, I felt an inexplicable sense of accomplishment.

"The savory broth, carrying the profound flavor of seafood stock... intertwined with the noodles, to think it could create such a deep taste...!!"

As she excitedly evaluated the dish, she slurped the ramen in ecstasy. That sight not only moved me, but seemed to deeply touch the shop owner and the staff as well.

What a heartwarming atmosphere. The absolute best, cozy space...!!

Even though I was in an awkward posture, holding down Mamiya's hair with my left hand, the ramen I ate here tasted more delicious than ever before, more than enough to make up for the inconvenience.

◇

"Ah~, that was so good!"

We finished our meal and left the shop. Towards the end, other customers started trickling in, and the atmosphere became busy, but the staff still went out of their way to tell us, "Please come again," and saw us off.

A soy sauce broth with a rich seafood flavor. I had been worried whether it would suit her taste, but it turned out to be the right choice.

"I really got to experience a fantastic meal today!"

"I didn't expect you to be this happy. No, really..."

"To think I was always holding myself back before feels so silly now. Ah, the aftertaste of the broth is still lingering in my mouth. I've decided: from now on, if anyone asks me what my favorite food is, I'll answer ramen."

"That's an exaggeration... What did you answer before, then?"

"Well, it varied a bit depending on my mood, but basically... lasagna?"

Lasagna... I've never had it. It's Italian, right? That choice gives off a bit of a rich young lady vibe. Even though that's just a prejudice.

"Thank you, Watanuki-kun. If it's alright with you, I'd be very happy if you'd accompany me again in the future."

"Eh? I thought you'd go by yourself from now on... You shouldn't have any hesitation anymore, right?"

"Hesitation, hm, yeah, it's gone. It's just that I feel like it'll taste better if I eat it with you."

"Eh...!?"

"Besides, aren't we currently in a fake romance contract? Romance shouldn't be about being together out of necessity; the very act of being together is what holds value, right?"

Faced with Mamiya smiling so triumphantly, I felt like she had hit the nail on the head.

True, what she said might be exactly how lovers should properly be.

But, was I able to do that for Karen? I believed I had always tried my best to make Karen happy... but a rock-solid memory of making her as incredibly happy as I made Mamiya this time didn't immediately or clearly come to mind.

To me, Karen was a companion I had been with since I was old enough to understand things, so there was probably absolutely no sense of novelty. Therefore, surely—

"Guh!?"

My nose was suddenly pinched!?

"You were thinking about something pointless again, weren't you."

"Uh... ah, no... I was just reviewing half my life, and before I knew it..."

"Right now, at a time like this?"

"I think it's weird myself."

Even though I chose a date spot to avoid Karen, I still ended up thinking of Karen. I was too reluctant to let go, but then again, if she was taken from me, what was left in my life...? That kind of thought also existed.

"...How should I put it, if I said I didn't think about what it would be like to come to a place like this with Souichi, that would be a lie."

"You too, Mamiya?"

"Yeah, I'd end up thinking about it no matter what... However, I feel the reason it was so delicious today is definitely because I was with you, Watanuki-kun."

An unpretentious smile tinged with a little shyness.

That was indeed completely different from Karen's... They couldn't be compared at all.

A fake romance. In the end, it was so fake that you'd even doubt if it resembled the real thing.

She and I had only just met, and it's not like she had feelings for me.

However, precisely because of that... the time we spent together was easy and comfortable.

There was no suffocating feeling, but rather a casualness of "if it doesn't work out, oh well"—like lounging and sleeping until the afternoon on a day off because you have no plans, perhaps somewhat similar to that blissful sense of stagnation.

Perhaps that was why—.

"...Yeah."

The ramen I ate today was gentler and more refreshing to the heart than anything I had ever eaten before.

"I'm starting to look forward to our next date."

"Next time it's my turn to propose an idea, you know. Although I feel like I've been hit with an unexpected counterattack, the bar for me has been raised."

"Hahaha, you don't need to worry about that. Even if it ends up being a bit of a letdown, isn't that fun in its own way too?"

"Ugh... please don't simulate it using the failure mode!? You'll only be able to put on such a relaxed face now, just you wait!"

Although she spoke as if she were angry, the corners of Mamiya's mouth were happily relaxed. I was probably the same.

The contents of this conversation didn't hold any special meaning.

There was no significance, purpose, or calculation; we were just idly trading banter with each other.

Just doing this was enough to make me forget the freshly added wound in my heart—the feelings that had taken a long time to build up, only to crumble and vanish.

Of course, this was only for right now; when I'm alone, it would probably suddenly surge up and torment me again... But even if it's only for right now, right now was fine.

Someday, I'll definitely be able to move forward.

Because I felt that if I was with Mamiya, perhaps that hope could become a reality.

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